Allergy To Cats Is A Thing Of The Past

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Wednesday, 19 August 2020

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Cats - they'll murder you With their disdain

It's been estimated that around one third of the UK population (nearly 20 million people) will develop an allergy at some time in their lives.

From grass and tree pollen, known as hay fever or allergic rhinitis, to dust mites, animal dander, nuts, fruit, shellfish, eggs and cows' milk and a hundred more, our country is overrun with hypersensitivity to something or another.

"In a nutshell," Prof Mike Offspitz told us, "is where many allergies lie. Nuts. In fact, one of the solutions for people suffering nut allergies is to give them a handful of salted cashews. My experience tells me that they won't get it again."

However, researchers at London's King's Hospital have made a leap forward in helping those who suffer from cat dander. They've manufactured an injection that serves as a long-term solution for most feline allergies.

"It's foolproof," Prof Offspitz said. "Its proprietary name is 'Meowdown' ... though I think most people will link it to 'putting your cat to sleep'. Job done."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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