Tech Breakthrough: New Apple smartwatch will alert wearer to people in the same room who have a wooden leg

Written by Johnny Shlep

Thursday, 29 August 2019

image for Tech Breakthrough: New Apple smartwatch will alert wearer to people in the same room who have a wooden leg
The revolutionary new watch pictured last night

The Apple Corporation yesterday unveiled their latest piece of innovative technology in the shape of the Apple iWatch 5, which will not only tell you the time of day with a fair degree of accuracy, but will also alert you to the fact that somebody in the same room as yourself has a wooden leg.

Speaking at last night's Apple Special Event from The Steve Jobs Centre, Apple CEO, Tim Cook, told a thousand-strong audience: "This device will change the way you look at people in the same room forever.

"Now, instead of endlessly wondering about whether any of them has a wooden leg, this device will emit a series of beeps whenever anybody who is fitted with a wooden prosthetic comes within 3 metres of the wearer."

Apple hopes that the device will also be a boon to its wearers who smoke and can't find anywhere to stub out their cigarettes or knock out their pipe.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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