In a recent interview we asked Paul McCartney and Ringo who were together for the first time on a recent Television Event, what would it have been like if Paul had been shot and killed instead of John Lennon?
Paul: Well, I certainly wouldn't have been here for you to ask me that.
Ringo: I remember John. Haven't seen him for a bit.
So he would have joked around?
Ringo: He was always pul...
Following are some weird laws from earlier Tennessee and have not been written off the list, so beware if you're visiting Dollywood or the Smoky Mountains.
1. No going bare in Bear Territory. We have lost too many of our citizens to still sleepy bears in the Spring.
2. A lightning storm while on the mountain is pretty but you should get down as soon as possible as there is no way of not stan...
With all the confusion about the death of Michael Jackson, you would have thought this would come out, but everyone was afraid of publicity or got some cash under the table at the morgue.
My name is Roger Mckindle and I was new to my job but was there when the coroner did the work on Michael Jackson.
I don't want to bother with the details because they are grisly but not after seeing a lot o...
"Everything seems to happen to me", stated some guy at the airport who was sitting chained to his seat and with a pair of handcuffs on. I had sat sown to wait the wife come into the airport from VChicago and I hadn't notice the guy except that there was another sitting across from him.
He looked like a security guard or an air marshall.
So I waved and politely told the man across from my tal...
If you are sick and tired of "Brandy, You're A Fine Girl or "You're 16, You're Beautiful and You're Mine", you might want to try these new Radio Formats coming in the next month or so:
1. Bagpipes For Making Out
2. Amish Silence With Frog Calls and Crickets
3. The All-Night Static Station for those Who are Nostalgic
4. From Yoda To Yoko
5. Twilight Time for Transvestites
10 Riding on a horse has similar moves but the horse may not know what you're doing up there.
9. If you have a big butt, be careful you don't clear the floor!
8 Do not attempt if you have artificial hip or knee.
7. Check for "Wet Floor" signs.
6. Look around and be sure Kim Kardashian is not dancing there.
5. If you're a guy and it makes you feel gay, just do something else.
Well we have been married two months today and I have been wanting to discuss something with you but couldn't do it in person or on the telephone since the government bugs everything, including e-mails.
It's a little embarrassing but I was wondering if when you and dad got married did he want to have sex all the time?
I can understand most nights but not all the time.
I love Bi...
Four Bits of Special Knowledge That Will Show Everyone You Are MENSA Quality!
My wife and I know we have to make a
few sacrifices for our marriage to work,
but the animal shelter people are
beginning to get a little suspicious.
When my wife and I first met, she didn't
like me much because I'm almost 40 years
older than she is. But I eventually won
her over, partially because I've g...
Paris Hilton: Every time I put on one of my string bikinis and walk out on the beach, I draw a pretty good crowd so I think that the string theory is magnetic in nature.
Stephen Hawking: Over the past few decades, a single explanatory framework, now called the "string theory", has emerged that may turn out to be the ultimate theory of the universe. Many physicists believe that, at the beginnin...
After our reporters went to interview a couple of guys whose DNA proved them to be innocent of a sex crime after spending 12 years in jail, they were told that Bernie Madoff, the guy who stole millions off trusting clients, wanted to see them.
"Bernie looked a lot older but he had fire in his eyes."
He greeted us and then went right into a rant that while he, Bernie Madoff, was spending hard...
"Lighter note huh? You news people think the whole world is one big happy home don't you? Well, I deal day in and day out with dead people and cleaning them up, placing a cotton ball with alcohol up their wazzoo and draining them dry so what so humorous about that?"
After telling Mr. Clay we only were there to ask him and his staff..
"Did you say 'Stiff'?"
"No. I said staff. The people wh...
During our dinner date, I took what I thought
was my heart medication. Within 30 minutes
I realized I had committed a colossal boner.
I think the saddest thing about a guy
falling asleep at the wheel and dying
is that in all likelihood, the last thing
on earth he heard was Yanni on the radio.
I'd never make it on one of those
Survivor shows. Every time I think
about eating somethi...
My grandfather was over spending the weekend at my college as I had an extra room and the rest of the family told me it was my time.
Gramps is not a bad old guy, just a little senile but mostly lonesome as all his old friends are dead.
"Grandpa, there's a 'Weekend At Bernies' marathon on this weekend. I need to go out and do some stuff, I'll get it started for you. If you get tired, turn it...
These Top Ten Ways to lose weight are easy as falling off a log. (Guess I better take that one off).
1. Always sleep on a vibrating bed.
2. Go Over A Fence that has a warning sign, "Dozen Bulls Horny Here!"
3. Crap on your food.
4. Easiest Push-Ups! (Pushing Up Daisies)
5. Snack on salted packing peanuts!
6. When introducing yourself at 'Get Acquainted Singles Meet', "Hello, my n...
A local man, Claude Davis of Sevierville, Tennessee says he knew he had to get to the doctors in a hurry when he woke up with a green weenie this morning!
"Maude come her quick!"
"I was getting us some breakfast!"
"Look here. I done got the green weenie. It'll fall off and what will we do?"
"Oh, let me take a look-see, It was doing real fine last night. It does look green and kinda wri...
The Andersons come over to visit the new couple on the block, just back from their Honeymoon.
"We're glad you're over here within visiting distance after the four of us being friends now for three years", stated Mr. Anderson.
"We're glad to be on this block", stated Henry. "But we had a whale of a honeymoon."
"Why, Donna's blushing. Look at that."
"Oh there's a lot more to tell and he...
An old familiar athlete butt-slapping after a good play is taking over from the Knock-Out game that was the recent trend.
"This is great", stated pimply nerd at a local high school. "I'm tired of getting knocked out.
So he sneaks over and slaps a nice-looking young lady on the butt and she knocks him out.
"Most guys think the new game is a lot better and some of the ladies say they don't...
Along with underarm deodorant, perfume, cologne used anywhere else on the body, the following companies are ready to release their new Under Boob Perfumes. Check for them at many top line stores as they will be released during the summer of 2014. The perfect gift for the perfect lady in your life:
Gold Medal Winner
Fleshman's Eye Popper
La Rose Jacqueminot
Tabu For You...
It is illegal to congregate in public with two or more people while each wearing a mask or any face covering which disguises your identity.
In New York, adultery is still a crime.
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
Throwing a rotten tomato,...
Following are the Top Ten Quickies from 2013. We hope you find them amusing.
1. I have flabby thighs but at least my big fat belly and huge ass hide them.
2. They say that married men live longer. I think it just SEEMS longer.
3. My favorite machine at the exercise center is the snack machine.
4. I've been on so many blind dates that I should get me a seeing-eye dog.
I didn't see any of my last diary entry in the newspapers or entertainment mags or on TV so I guess it's safe.
I did not like that kardashian woman on that photo session. I say right here, I was afraid she would want to pose in my lap.
I would have said no and there was no way I was climbing into hers looking like a ventriloquists dummy.
Kim Kardashian's ass is like a sepa...
How can people get stories from my diary? Something funny is going on because they knew how I feel about terrorists and our oil purchases.
OK. Let's see if this gets out.
I try to stay in shape but I'm a little guy with a lot of energy but still I exercise..all but my ass. It takes care of itself. I don't even see it unless I back up to a mirror and the way my diary stories ge...
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
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Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!
F.B.I. Deputy Director Andrew McCabe
Scamatology TV Has Resulted in Flood of New Visits to Orgs
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