Are you frustrated with bookclubs that send you their featured selection of the month, even though you already sent back the little card? Are you upset that you received a new CD on the Greatest Hits of Mating Sounds of the Humpbacked Whale the day after the you actually ordered a John Denver album? Are you sick and tired of video clubs that require you to notify them by certified, registered ma...
Many people ....(what am I saying!)...Most people hate receiving a jury summons. This generally requires at least one day off work (without pay, of course), downtown traffic and parking, long lines, hurry up and wait, inadequate bathroom facilities, no convenient lunch, losing coins in vending machines, rude and/or overworked employees (city, county, state, or Federal), sitting on unpadded seats...
Do you need help installing some new things on a computer or repairing your system? Are you an older person that has not grown up around computers or is using their first computer?
If so, follow my easy, step by step instructions and you will make your life with computers (and their problems and glithches) a snap.
Your computer may give you an error message...
I have a real hate/hate relationship with telephones. Whether they are at work, at home, in other people's pockets, whatever...I can't stand the things.
My son is "campaigning" for office. In fact, he is running to be the president of his high school freshmen class at Onate High School in Las Cruces, New Mexico.
In a standard church hymnal, there are a lot of songs. The titles of some lend themselves to humor. For example, tell a child vocally that there is one called "Gladly the Cross I'd Bear" (there is really a hymn by that title) and they will hear "Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear."...
I have written a couple of articles in the past concerning some of the really dumb questions people ask us at work. Questions, however, are only part of the lunacy we put up with sometimes. On occasion, we have whole conversations that seem to go weird.
My wife has her cats. She loves her cats. The cats love...themselves and about nothing else. No, I'm not a cat person.
My son owns the world's dumbest dog. I know that some humans are born mentally retarded, and I believe that this animal suffers the same condition. No original thought has ever entered his head. I would describe him as being brain dead, if it were determined that he ever had a brain in the first place.
Yes. the J-man is poking a little fun at the Mormons again. Read only if you wish to.
Ever have a colonoscopy? This is where you lay down on a hospital bed and they run a camera up through the rectum and into the colon. Doctors due this to check for colon cancer, hemorhoids, and other possible problems. If your answer is yes, you know where this is going.
Author's Note: We have all heard the standard light bulb jokes. I wrote these for Mormons about five years ago and they have been e-mailed all over the place many times. I have even received it back from others, in several altered conditions with additions and deletions. This is the original.
By way of explanation, Beehive clothing is the name of the store where Mormons buy their temple clothing (outside of Utah, they are generally attached to LDS temples). They also believe that marriage within one of their temples is "for all eternity" and not "until death do up part." This short vignette, which can be performed as a reader's theatre or play, is based on...
They say that every cloud has a silver lining. They also say that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. This is true. As a teenager, I once was in this situation and turned it to my full and complete advantage.
I seem to have a stubborn streak in me that wants to do everything without asking the man upstairs for help. In my opinion, God really does not care if I have corn, peas, lima beans, or green beans with dinner, so I should not waste his time asking. Generally, minor sniffles or 24 hour bugs do not require religious blessings, fasting by family members, or hours spent on my knees; these petty tri...
This week, I spoke with an old friend for the first time in about twenty years. As we talked about the past, different events from our childhoods were brought back to light (ones that were better left in the dark). My wife, who heard much of the conversation, now thinks I'm terrible. My thirteen year old son, who also heard, now thinks me a hero.
In early November, I posted an article on dumb questions I had received at work. The following experience happened to one of my employees just a few days later.
Sometimes, people do not engage their brain before speaking and say something that, if they had thought, would never have sneaked past past the lips or tongue. The conversation here, however, tends to make me believe that this b...
We get questions at work all of the time. Most of them are simple, easily answered, intelligent requests from curious people. No one here minds answering those; helping people is part of the job. Many of them, however, fall into the dumb questions category and a few have entered the Hall of Fame. Not all of them are asked by blondes. Comedian Bill Engval makes millions every year doing a rout...
My father had to go to the hospital last night. He was having trouble breathing and the doctor said that his heart was not pumping enough blood. Dad is 71 years old and had a triple bypass about twelve years ago, so heart problems are not unexpected.
The reason I write this, however, is to detail four different conversations with three different nurses within two hours that makes me q...
The following is not a joke. This really happened to me when I was a Missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church) over twenty years ago. The experience occurred right after I was transferred into a small town in Texas as a missionary in the early 1980’s. I have changed the names of the city, my companion, and the member of the Bishopric to save some people...
In November of 1998, I received a very disturbing e-mail. It had been forwarded several times, so there was no way to point to the original author or origin. I would like to quote that e-mail in it’s entirety, and then add my own comments:
He’s a She...
I once went out to dinner and a movie with a very attractive and fun woman. It was a first date for the two of us and my first date in over a year. Several church and message board friends who knew of my date had asked me to e-mail them the results and tell them how everything went. What they really wanted to know, in teenage boy terms, was "what base did you get to?" With my p...
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