Can't write? Can't muster up that urge of literary brilliance that adorns the page like a symphony of unwritten prose just waiting for ink to touch parchment.
Just write and go. The new Artificial Intelligent Intellectual Pen 3000 now with new improved Creative AI (tm). For all those moments when your feeble human brain says, "Fuck you higher functions! I ain't playing ball. I want to destroy...
It is back a(gain)
so tell a (friend)
its rice a (its rice a)
its rice a (aaaaa)
Tell a (friend)
tell a (freind)
you and i, baby we cook side by side.
me and you, tell me what we're gonna do (2x)
no matter what i came here to cook
no matter what you came here to eat
we really aint got nowhere to go
cuz I want some rice a roni (2x)
you and i, baby we cook side by side.
me and yo...
It's not often when our editor comes out of his office, but he came out a few weeks ago and shouted, "James, I have a story for you!"
He proceeded to tell me his brilliant idea for a Valentine's Day story, and he wanted me to chronicle my dating life for our readers. I reluctantly agreed only because I had become so tired of being angry and cynical due to the fact that my ex left me for his...
It's been a really, really messed up week
These memories of Christmas bringing days of torture
So my boyfriend texted and broke up with me
He's an Arlington douche and it's time for me to un-friend him
La la la Bah Humbug la la la Wanna death stick? la la la Bah Humbug la la la
We're really raving tonight, tonight
There's a party at the big dome top of the dome
Tonight, tonight were...
David Clarke, former front man of The Doormats has gone out on his own and created an album full of old style angst and musicality reminiscent of the early Rolling Stones.
Only the brilliance and poignant writing of David Clarke can produce an album called How About a Cup of STFU?
Clarke is said to have written the song about his brother-in-law. When asked though why a man from England w...
My friend walked in with a spring in his step and a look of pure excitement. He was holding a new phone and told me he just got the new iPhone4S. "You can talk to it," my friend said. He lovingly told me her name was Siri. I asked my friend if I could interview Siri, and she granted me an exclusive.
EJ: So, Siri. You're kind of like C-3PO aren't you?
Siri: No. I am not fluent in ove...
When I arrived at my desk this morning at The Spoof, I was pleased to find a CD with a post-it stuck on it that had barely legible writing on it that, I think, said, "Review this." I always enjoy reviewing music so I happily took off the post-it, and that's when I read the title of the song and then I realized that it must be a joke. I looked around at my co-workers. They were all sitting at their...
Austin, TX - As The Spoof's foremost music reviewer, I am given countless CDs, have to interview thousands of potential, has been and a few really awesome bands, and sometimes I get free tickets to festivals, such as The Austin City Limits Music Festival where I was supposed to have a sit down interview with Chris Martin from Coldplay. However, I gave festival tickets to a highway patrolman so th...
Like most modern day inventions, we have to give credit to the US military for Duct Tape. It is said that Army personnel in 1942 created it in order to keep water from leaking in ammunition cases. Before that, soldiers would use medical tape. While medical tape was great for adhering bandages to skin, it was not great for patching up things blasted by bombs.
Gli Acquedotti Romani: Come Son...
In this global society we live in, employers are turning to Skype to help find it's best job candidates. Having a job interview on Skype is a lot different that talking with friends. I have compiled a list of tips for all of the novice Skype users out there.
Put away all evidence of your Internet porn escapades
Future employers don't want to see the soaked towel thrown to the side of your...
For some, the quest for love has them make up false claims about themselves on internet match making sites. For others, they rely simply on hanging out at Starbucks with their laptops hoping the attractive doctor they've been eying for a month will finally say hello. Yet, there is a woman in Montana, who has decided to go for guys named David. Not just any David will do either. She's looking f...
Normally, I watch Castle on Monday nights. However, tonight was a rerun and nothing else was on TV so I found myself watch the Spanish channel Univision and began watching this telenovela, which is a Spanish soap opera. I am fluent in Spanish and have lived in Mexico (seriously), but I have a hard time understanding these shows because the actors talk so fast.
Here is the synopsis and review...
Fort Worth - Stephen Kingsley, a 32 year old accountant, decided to work today for the first time. Mr. Kingsley was sitting at his desk on the 4th floor of his building when he heard shouts coming from his window.
He wheeled himself over to the window and looked down and saw some people standing around with signs and yelling, "No more slacking!" Mr. Kingsley said he didn't hesitate. He s...
Most of the world can't imagine what it's like to live in Japan at the present time. No one, despite their political leanings can't really argue that it is a great human and environmental tragedy. However, there is a small sect of Earth's population that looks at the tragedy with curiosity and even hopefulness.
On remote islands scattered throughout the seas, living in exile, are real like...
Flat Stanley, adored by school children and teachers alike, left the Betty Ford clinic last month after entering around Christmas of 2010. When he entered rehab, he was sullen and pale. Not to mention high as a kite and cussing out the nurses. After a month long bender of crack and tequila, friends checked him into rehab. He looks like his perky old self now, and I was able to sit down with hi...
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
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