Paddy O'Shea Remembers Being Born.
Paddy O'Shea of no fixed address London decided to seek help for his alcohol addiction. He was referred to the Tony Blair Asylum for the Insanely Deluded where he underwent hypnotherapy in the course of which he was regressed to infancy and beyond. Paddy, to psychiatrist Dr. Theo Leonard's amazement was able to recount in vivid detail his life in the womb and...
Extra Legislation to Protect 'Freedom'.
Washington: Congress has passed new bills under instructions from Emperor Barack Obama to protect what he calls "citizens' inviolable freedoms". What does it mean?
Well,... as a reward for giving up on their Freedom of Speech upon which America's 'democracy' is founded, American sheeple can now have their innate freedoms legally protected. They are...
Archaeologists digging near Jerusalem have unearthed what could be the find of the century... a document purporting to list the actual charges made against Jesus Christ.
Jesus was formally arraigned at the house of the High Priest Caiaphas before a gathering of Scribes and officials belonging to the Jerusalem Sanhedrin council.
The list of indictments was read out to the defendant who made...
Science Magazine EXPERTZ that deals with what they call the science of living is an advanced magazine for the thinking middle-class man.
Using all the best scientific evidence it collates its findings in a series of weekly articles designed to enlighten the average upwardly mobile individual on how to get the most how of his/her life.
This week it launches a new series of "How To" articles...
This epic film, titled "Tanks for the Memory" is based on the invasion of Iraq by America. Its original title "It'll all Blow Over" was lobbied against by Irish political party Sinn Fein as "inappropriate" and "likely to cause unfair attention to our political mandate at home".
The party's lawyers Schillings of London threatened court action on the basis that "unintended associations between...
"The Beyonce-approved "22-Day Revolution" vegan diet regimen was created by celeb trainer Marco Borges, and she's such a fan that she wrote the forward to his book.
Beyonce and Marco will also be launching a vegan meal delivery service together.
Read more at http://thefix.ninemsn.com.au/2015/06/09/08/24/fix090615beyonce-diet-and-weight-struggle
Day One was truly amazing,...
Young nine-year old Sean and his dad Pat are seated together on a sofa in their living room watching the UEFA European Cup Final between Barcelona the hot favourites and Juventus on the tele. The boy balances a football on his knees. With five minutes left in the game and the scoreline 2-1 to Barcelona dad's nerves, like his finger nails, are frayed. The following conversation takes place.
1. You hear him laughing with his mates and when you turn around they are all staring at you with a smile on their faces.
2. He no longer looks into your eyes or asks your advice about anything.
3. When you try to kiss him he sniggers; and when you ask him what he is sniggering at he says: "Oh, something just popped into my head."
4. He no longer wants to dine at your "favourite" restaurant.
Science proves what turns men on in women. It seems men check out women along the lines of reproductive fitness assessment. The five winning female traits are.
1. Wide Waist to Hips Ratio.
Tarzan thinks: those big hips could pop out a dozen versions of me in a dozen years. I could have my own soccer team.
2. A High Pitched Voice.
Tarzan thinks: I could make her squeal like a pig and al...
1. Showing up there, unless you want to or need to.
2. Allowing yourself to be pissed upon from a great
height by your boss. He/she is not your parent.
He/ she doesn't know you. They only imagine they do.
That is how they got to be boss in the first place.
Like David Cameron got to be PM. 'Knows' everybody,
3. Misunderstanding the true nature of the...
This is actually for real, an article recently reported in askmen.com.
"Touch a woman's arm, give her a hug or make long eye contact with her if you want to increase your chances of turning her on. Show her your caring side, and prove that nice guys can sometimes finish first."
So were the latest findings of that august institution devoted to human happiness and freedom ... The Rockefeller U...
Many high-falutin' theories have been put forward as to the origins of modern art with its smoke-and-mirrors baloney authenticated and promoted by the nefarious ruling class doctrine they call "Post Modernism" which goes "be as mad as you want for nobody is sane". You know what 'great' art is because it offends little old ladies. Damien Hirst and friends are among its most lucrative aficionados.
Hotel Kanthmandu is the new movie starring Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and Alyvia Alyn Lind is due for release next month. Here is a preview.
Dr. Peter Tumble (Brad) is an eminent seismologist working for The U.S. Geological Survey (USGS). He is married to successful fiction writer Janine Prowling.
The union alas is childless. And they are experiencing additional stress in their marriage for...
Two strangers meet in a bar and get to talking. The following 'conversation' took place.
1. What is your name?
1. Mother's maiden name?
1. Where do you live?
2. I live in Madison Drive, Wisconsin.
1. If I said I wanted an aerial photo of your house what would you say?
2. Where I live is none of your business.
1. If I asked you how you got it, when you got it...
Here is a verbatim report from an article in a leading British Paper. We are not making this up. This is actually what it said:
"Sex scandal Labour grandee Lord Janner has been probed over allegations he was part of a Westminster paedophile ring.
The Met police spent six months investigating claims the peer - said to be too frail from dementia to be prosecuted - was a guest at London sex a...
Scientists in Britain have found that heavy snoring or "sleep apnoea" can lead to psychopathic serial killing, paedophilia, joining the Freemasons and persuading entire nations to go to war against targeted little countries like Iraq that are rich in resources and helpless in defence.
Notable heavy snorers were Caligula, Hitler, Rip Van Winkle, Julius Caesar, Marlene Dietrich, Doris Day, Pope...
1. He beats you up.
2. He doesn't beat you up. If he really loved you he would beat you up like your first husband... whom you should never have left but had to... because he beat you up.
3. You are not Jane enough to his Tarzan.
4. He is not Tarzan enough to your Jane.
5. He only married you for your money.
6. She only married you for your money.
7. He lusts after other women.
In a survey conducted in twenty American prisons concerning the relationship between crime and marriage break-up, it was concluded that one of the main problems in relationships was language.
Communication problems all devolved to the contrary understanding of the meaning of words. The comprehension of words however was mediated by false beliefs and values that were inherently pernicious or i...
1. I left my wallet at home.
2. Gee, you remind me of my mother.
3. I have a slight touch of Ebola but it will pass.
4. I think George W. Bush is probably one of this century's greatest leaders next to Tony Blair and the late great Ronald Reagan.
5. Love is not sex.
6. My dad is a funeral director. That's why I work in health insurance. What do you do?
7. If I was a woman I'd sta...
One Sunday morning in Spring, David O'Malley interior decorator living alone in a run-down apartment in New York woke from a royal Irish hangover and set about reviving himself.
Long since divorced from a childless marriage he had been living alone for over twenty years in bondage to a life of routine hard graft, restless sleep and the ritual weekend binges with his work mates in The Black Sham...
1. Why was it never explained to us at school how and why the banks rule the world and have put politicians in power to help them?
2. Why did they lie to me by getting me to believe that if I created something wonderful or excellent that I would be guaranteed success? This is false I now know. A mediocre talent well connected to the right people is more likely to become a success than a genius...
The Freemasons' Annual Blind Servitude Awards to be conducted at Buckingham Palace by Prince Michael of Kent Grand Wizard of the Royal Ark Lodge will take place on 22nd April. The nominees for The awards that are divided into categories are as follows:
(1) Music. Lady Gaga. Justin Bieber. Bono of U2.
(2) Film. Clint Eastwood. Quentin Tarantino.
(3) Media. CNN. BBC.
(4) Literature. J.K.
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
Name Calling Trump
Trump to Seek Re-erection
Donald Trump, Jr. Blames His Divorce on Obama
Who Will Replace Hope Hicks In The White House?
Clown Union Assures Trump He'll Always Have A Home With Them
Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!
F.B.I. Deputy Director Andrew McCabe
Scamatology TV Has Resulted in Flood of New Visits to Orgs
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!