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Proms Review: Prom 44

Funny story: Proms Review: Prom 44

Ligeti, Berio, Xenakis, Harvey, Andriessen, Cage. Byron Fulcher - trombone Sound Intermedia London Sinfonietta London Sinfonietta Academy Ensemble André Ridder, conductor. Pierre Noxious writes: The earlier Prom last night was some nice stuff by Delius, Saint-Saëns and Tchaikovsky played by the Royal Phil under Charles Dutoit and featuring hot property young ivory-tickler Benjamin Gro...

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Metamorphosis: Titian 2012. National Gallery. Review

Funny story: Metamorphosis: Titian 2012. National Gallery. Review

Proserpine Gainsborough-Halfwit visits the Sainsbury Wing to see some contemporary resonses to Ovid's poetry alongside the Venetian great... It can be soooo dull looking at nudes with boyfriends, so I wasn't looking forward to it when Dicky Featherstonehaugh-Tomsk insisted he wanted to come with me to this. Dicky's all right, but he can come across as a bit, you know, pervy. But when I ta...

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Paul Simon at Hard Rock Calling - Review

Funny story: Paul Simon at Hard Rock Calling - Review

EIF News & Features' tame music critic Pierre Noxious hasn't put pen to paper for us for a while, so when we heard he was going to see Paul Simon at Hyde Park we water-boarded him until he agreed to review the show for us at standard NUJ rates… Paul Simon is a songwriter and musician of unparalleled skill, observation, wit and talent. Just as well really, because Hyde Park is a horrible,...

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Comics That Got Away

Funny story: Comics That Got Away

The Predictable Hulk. Bruce Banner: "Don't make me angry, Mr Kelly, you... Kelly: "Yeah... I know...I wouldn't like you when you're angry. Jeez - Do you ever give it a rest?" *** The Flasher Barry Allen and Iris West (who is unaware of Barry's secret alter ego, The Flash) have been to the movies and are walking home... "... Oh Barry! Not again! Do put it away, please!" ***...

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Bruce Springsteen Gave Me A Guitar.

Funny story: Bruce Springsteen Gave Me A Guitar.

So it dawns on me that, of course, the guitar must have been from Bruce. Springsteen. I'm not sure how I know… but I remember as we - I can't discern who's with me - approach the gig. It's like a large village hall with a balcony - or one of those non-conformist churches, but I can see no religious stuff. Anyway, we take seats on the floor to one side, under the balcony, thinking we won...

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All Our Yesterdays: Revolution!

Funny story: All Our Yesterdays: Revolution!

Cliveyenko Sergeyevich Dantonov alighted from the train and looked at his watch. He was a little early but he had expected crowds. If not for him, then surely to greet the great man who would lead the workers to freedom. So, time to kill. Here we were at last - a day that would go down in history. And he was part of it. No longer would he be the butt of practical jokes - not he, Dantonov. Hence...

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Hollywood Versions Of Great moments In History - Almost!

Funny story: Hollywood Versions Of Great moments In History - Almost!

Extracts from a selection of story outlines that came frighteningly close to becoming Hollywood movies... Edmund turned the key in the ignition and the tired old Toyota coughed into life. "Bloody wreck!" He silently swore. "Please just get me to Leicester. Please. "All right… never mind," he calmed himself. "We'll stick it to those bastard Yorkists at Bosworth, I get in good with Henry, t...

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University Challenge: Manchester Cruise To Title

Funny story: University Challenge: Manchester Cruise To Title

So is it a slap-up feast at Ilkley's fabulously and ridiculously expensive Box Tree restaurant for native boy Tristan Burke after he led his Manchester side to victory? I've never been, Tris, despite living near for years, so if they do treat you, drop us a line let me know what it's like. Manchester were hot on the buzzer from the start and once again a previously crack outfit, this time Pe...

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Apollo Moon Landings Killer - Inside The Mind Of A Mass Murderer. A Special Investigation.

Funny story: Apollo Moon Landings Killer - Inside The Mind Of A Mass Murderer. A Special Investigation.

When Gideon Lambrusco was sentenced to four life sentences at Leeds Crown Court last week, as he was sent down he shouted to the court: "Houston, we have a problem." It was no surprise that the bizarre case should end with this iconic litotes of the space age - for it was the space age, particularly the race to the moon, which triggered the train of events that ended with Judge Lemuel Blandford...

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She Wolves: England's Early Queens... TV Review

Funny story: She Wolves: England's Early Queens... TV Review

Ken Lucid gave the book She-Wolves: The Women Who Ruled Engand Before Elizabeth the thumbs-up when it was published in 2010. Now Dr Helen Castor has turned her effort into a three-part series for BBC4, and this first programme focussed on Matilda and Eleanor of Aquitaine. It seemed only natural to ask Prof Lucid to cast his eye over results... Thank heavens for BBC4! It's the only place you...

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University Challenge: Manchester Too Tasty For Worcester Sauce.

Funny story: University Challenge: Manchester Too Tasty For Worcester Sauce.

Oh dear! What shame! This was a mouth-watering prospect - two of the most entertaining sides in the competition squaring up for a cracking semi-final. But what a let-down. Well, to be perfectly fair, Manchester were entertaining, as well as sharp. But poor old Worcester simply never got going... the score was already a daunting 115-0 before they managed to get to the starter-for-ten buzze...

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University Challenge: Manchester And Clare Duke Out A Classic

Funny story: University Challenge: Manchester And Clare Duke Out A Classic

As Lord Liverpool may well have ejaculated on hearing Wellington's despatch reporting the victory at Waterloo: "Bloody hell! What a stonker!" This was quarter-final last chance saloon for these sides, both of whom had already lost one match, and they served up a spectacular, high-scoring tight finish. The outfit from Cambridge, featuring the deeply intense Daniel Janes, got off to a slow sta...

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The Lift: An Everyday Story Of Office Folk.

Funny story: The Lift: An Everyday Story Of Office Folk.

To: Allstaff From: Reception. 13:15 14/05/11 Sorry to report that the lift is not workin today. If you are expectin any visitors please come to receptionto meet them and not leave them to find their way to your offices by theirselves. Anyone goin for a drink after work? Its happy hour on fridays at the Duke. Laura in reception. xxx To: Laura Twist From: MD office 13:17 14/05/11...

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University Challenge: Clare Just Fail To Storm Pembroke's Castle

Funny story: University Challenge: Clare Just Fail To Storm Pembroke's Castle

There was very nearly a coup in the latter stages of this ultimately exciting match. As Clare staged a roaring comeback from a seemingly hopeless position (the score at one stage read an embarrassing Pembroke 140 Clare minus 5) the excitable Daniel Janes seemed to all but usurp skipper Jonathan Burley's answering prerogative. Both Cambridge teams went into this match needing one win to make...

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Midsomer Murders: Ho-wow... More Of This Madness Please

Funny story: Midsomer Murders: Ho-wow... More Of This Madness Please

Completely nuts! It doesn't get much better than this. Just what we want from a TV detective show. Your childhood memories remember the camp old actor who buys it in the opening scenes: the old nutter gets up in the middle of a stormy night, goes up to the roof of his ancestral pile and tries to repair a flag, for crying out loud. Little wonder that DCI Barnaby is investigating his murder a...

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University Challenge: Saucy Worcester Make The Semis

Funny story: University Challenge: Saucy Worcester Make The Semis

What a sauce! Worcester College, who qualified for the second round by winning the highest-losers' play-offs, are the first team into this year's semi-finals. Defeat tonight would have been fatal for neither side as teams need to win two quarter-final matches to qualify for the semis, and each already had one win under their belts. And there was a feeling that this led to a lack of urgency - it...

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History Review: Queen Anne: The Politics Of Passion, By Anne Somerset

Funny story: History Review: Queen Anne: The Politics Of Passion, By Anne Somerset

The last Stuart monarch was a key figure in the Glorious Revolution that overthrew her father, James II. She is also famous for her 17 pregnancies and tragically short-lived offspring, a tempestuous friendship with Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, and furniture legs. Ken Lucid casts an eye over this welcome reappraisal... Have you seen how much The First Churchills is on DVD at Amazo...

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University Challenge: Worcester and Newcastle Serve Up A Lass-Led Cracker

Funny story: University Challenge: Worcester and Newcastle Serve Up A Lass-Led Cracker

It has been suggested that we call this match The Battle of the Babes because both sides are skippered by young women - but we wouldn't do that, would we? Two women on the same show is rare enough... but both skippers? Congratulations to Worcester College, Oxford, and Newcastle University on a thoroughly entertaining match - and for the not insignificant distaff presence. And the girls -...

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New Weekly Part Work - Build Your Own Gibson Les Paul!

Funny story: New Weekly Part Work - Build Your Own Gibson Les Paul!

That's right! You too can join great axemen like Slash and play your very own Gibson Les Paul electric guitar. This prestigious instrument has long been the guitar of choice for ace rock players and has been heard on some of the greatest tunes ever to hit the airwaves. Now you can build your own with this weekly publication. Every week you will receive a quality part with a specially-written...

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University Challenge: UCL And Manchester Keep Us Smiling

Funny story: University Challenge: UCL And Manchester Keep Us Smiling

All right! We'll take up the slack while Col Juan News suffers IT trauma. Well done to both teams - this was an entertaining match, thanks mostly to both skippers deliberating with their team mates audibly. And entering into a bit of banter with inquisitor, Jeremy Paxman. Maybe the pressure was off a little, since defeat in your opening quarter-final match is the not the end of the matter...

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University Challenge: Pembroke Fix Nottingham Good

Funny story: University Challenge: Pembroke Fix Nottingham Good

Quite simply, the Cambridge outfit from Pemroke were just too good for Nottingham, who probably woke up the following day needing a dose of medicine from local outfit Boot's The Chemist. Nottingham took the first starter but that was it for the team from the East Midlands. Pembroke College, Cambridge, were generally faster on the button - and even when they weren't in the later stages, Nottingh...

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Dubrovnik - A Maritime Jewel

Funny story: Dubrovnik - A Maritime Jewel

As winter is now clearly upon us, we asked Peregrine Trip to put a sunny smile back on our faces with some memories of his travels this summer past. His wanderings this year took him to, among others, Dubrovnik - the Pearl of the Adriatic… Hot. The Dalmatian coast is experiencing a heat wave when we arrive at Dubrovnik airport. I am reminded of my first arrival in the Mediterranean region...

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