Written by anthonyrosania

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

image for Nixon, September 24, 1973: "The Italians. They are not like us. Difference is they smell different, they look different, act different." Do you know how many bodies the Mob hid in those arches??

President Richard M. Nixon, September 24, 1973, while conversing with aide John Ehrlichman about rewarding groups that had voted for him.

Nixon: "The Italians. We mustn't forget the Italians. Must do something for them. The, ah, we forget them. They are not like us. Difference is they smell different, they look different, act different. After all, you can't blame them. Oh no. Can't do that. They've never had the things we've had."

Ehrlichman: "That's right."

Nixon: "Of course, the trouble is... the trouble is, you can't find one that's honest."

Don't ask me to join Mafia Wars on Myspace...
I don't f--king like it. It's racist, and you shouldn't support it.

Yes, there is a Mafia. Well, no, there used to be: A vast newtork of criminals, subordinately aligned under heads oc "families, largely populated with Italians and Italian-Americans.

Understandably, most of us get our tits twisted when subjected to bigoted slurs of other races and creeds: money-grubbing Jews, stupid, violent blacks, lazy Latinos. But slurs and suspicions about Americans of Italian heritage are tolerated-- nay, condoned and encouraged.

How many times have you heard of an Italian-American being a well-off, successful small business owner? Often, I'd imagine. Now, how often is talk of that success followed by mutters about mob connections?

"Yeah, he has a successful pizza place. And you know why, right? (Bends nose with finger.)"

Remember when former Governor Mario Cuomo, and former New York Mayor Rudy Guiliani started talking about Presidential ambitions? Suddenly, Cuomor was afraid to enter the race because of skeletons in his closet; that in his early days as a lawyer he had represented crime figures; that mob bosses had contributed to his election campaigns.

And what of Rudi? Because of his prosecution of mob members, it has become easier to see the Mafia in perspective. The mob is still around, but its dominance in organized crime is nearly depleted. Think of what Guiliani did: During the so-called "Mafia Commission Trial", Giuliani used the bigoted-named RICO Act to indict eleven organized crime figures, including the heads of New York's so-called "Five Families."

Nevertheless --Guiliani's handling of 9-11 notwithstanding-- it was opined that Rudi had too much resentment for his "own people": Trust me, there's plenty of Italian-Americans who think he was whatever the Italian version of an Uncle Tom is.

Realize that Italian-American prejudice exists, all the way up to the Presidency, and stop f--king tolerating it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Go to top
30 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more