Written by Inhopeless

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Dear diary,

My teen angst bullshit now has a body count. I've wrote a song about killing people. I've been in the news about killing people.

I think it's seven... going on eight. There are people, lying in a pool of their own blood.

Eyes gouged out... some of them... by the works of my thumbs.

Others, have a bullet through the throat. One jock I killed by shooting his shoulder and then in the ear.

Why? I'm young. Bored.

People are going to look at this and blame the films I've seen, the music I listen to. A Clockwork Orange, Heathers, and Psycho are fiction, I'm sure. I can tell the difference. If I had followed them, I would have a pretty girl trying to murder me by my side.

I'm a little callous, I know, but hey. I got time.

Hiding in the shadows, strangling people and dumping them in my car. Driving to the lake.

It's a neat thing, you gotta say.

Anyway, must go.

Some guy from the BBC is keeping his eye on my house. I'll make sure that I get the other one.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Topics: Murder
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.

Go to top
33 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more