Written by Duff

Thursday, 7 December 2006

M'am You're An Absolute marvel

What proud mum wouldn't want her daughter to follow in her footsteps and scoop gold?

Well that's the prospect facing the Queen's daughter Princess Anne, The Princess Royal, Colonel in Chief of the Royal Hussars, The Worcestershire and Sherwood Foresters, The Royal Corps of Signals, The Royal Logistics Corps, The Royal Army Veterinary Corps and the First Aid Nursing Yeomanry. And that's before you even start looking at her overseas titles and honours.

For her daughter, Zara, is likely to be voted as BBC's sports personality of the year by the arse-licking masses of the great British public, as indeed she was herself back in 1971. It seems that in 2006 it is unlikely we as a nation can find a more worthy recipient. Oh yeah?

Apparently Darren Clarke's just a recently widowed bloke, who despite the huge personal challenges that he overcame, helped to win the Ryder Cup for Europe in some very minority interest game called golf and that he can only aspire to the global recognition that would come his way were he to participate in a mainstream sport like Zara's.

Prancing about a field on a horse, or show jumping as it's apparently called, is watched by literally tens of people from round the world and what joy it gives all ordinary people in allowing us to press our noses against the glass to watch the upper classes participating in their esoteric pastimes.

If only we weren't such scum then perhaps we would actually be allowed to muck-out the horses; but of course harbouring such high and mighty thoughts is deserving of us all being given a damn good thrashing with a riding crop.

Duff says: "Gawd bless yah and well done M'am! Jolly good luck on Sunday!" Hip-hip! Hooray!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Absolute, Duff, Marvel
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