Written by armfeetandtoe

Monday, 4 April 2011

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image for Lepers Monthly Gazette Dont play catch if you have Leprosy

Hello and welcome to this month's edition!

Mr Arbudnot of Frampton would like to thank all those that searched for his nose at the gala weekend. It was found in the gents urinal tent by Mr Peasmould who handed it back with a new piece of sticky plaster.

Edith Moore sends apologies if she was a bit flaky at the baking day last month in Morpeth.

Kellogs corn flakes will not be served at the Leper Hostel in Istanbul due to customer complaints.

Would members please use the body grater before entering the swimming pool at the Cumbria club house. The water pump has had to be replaced.

The lost property department at Leper 20/50 club in Spain has the following items unclaimed: Right toe. Left ear. Nipple (female) nipple (male) Thumb (right) and a Zenon camera with a little finger stuck in the shutter.

HINTS AND TIPS:

If you need to sneeze, wear a full face balaclava.
Stay off water slides.
Dont wear headphones.
Dont slam the car door if your condition is advanced.


Have a good one!
See you next month

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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