Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Saturday, 26 March 2011

image for New Evidence Links Monica Lewinsky And Clinton To Unabomber No Ho

In Washington this morning, the Inspector General of the National Archives released confidential documents that implicate Monica Lewinsky and President Clinton with Ted Kaczynski, also known as the Unabomber.

After years of trying to piece together the facts in an attempt to understand what Sandy Berger, the former Clinton National Security Advisor, was trying to accomplish when he stuffed highly classified documents down his socks, the Inspector General today released his report, along with the classified documents implicating Bubba Clinton and paramour ho, Monica Lewinsky with the notorious Unabomber.

Among the most damaging were a number of limericks, including the following:

Lewinksy and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter
When deciding how best to be blown.

There once was a President Willy
Whose flute looked crooked and silly
Now Kaczynski you knew
Sent letters that blew
Like Lewinsky, but not Hillary.

Finally, in the case; Lewinsky vs Kaczynski, the Supreme Court, with Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg writing the majority opinion, issued this decision:

We have ruled Lewinsky no Ho
Because "is" does not include "fellatio"
However, we have concluded that
Since Kaczynski's letters went splat
He must serve life in the hoosegow.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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