Written by Lady Godiva

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

image for Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones of Cargo Fleet Middlesbrough had a few words to say about their Angel of the North being green for St. Pat's Day

Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, of Cargo Fleet Middlesbrough, had a few words to say when they heard that their 'darling Angel of the North' had been lit up with green lighting for St. Patrick's Day.

They rang the Spoof offices to speak with Lady G. who recorded then transcribed the following:

"It's making a freaking mockery of our monument like, inni' lighting i' in freaking green to celebrate St. Paddy's Day. Wot's tha'all about when its at 'ome like?

We're no' bloody Irish and neither is the bleeding Angel,"
commented Takwana. Made from British steel tha' is and we're dead proud of i' inni'?"

"Yeah...ya didn' see e'm bovvering to ligh' i' up in red for St. Georgies's Day did ya'? When is tha' by the way?" asked Anitakapita. I can never remember tha'."

"Our lad's dad is Irish bu' the only thing our lad and Takwana's lad did to celebrate, was to go to the Jack and Jill near Morrisons, in Berwick 'ills and they came 'ome absobloodylutely bladdered after downing god knows 'ow many pints' of tha' friggin' green beer.

It's norra long walk fer 'em from Berwick 'ills to our 'ouse, or I should 'ave sed 'long stagger' coz neever of 'em could walk a straight bloody line and they woz singing Irish songs an' all, which pissed off our Scottish neighbour, Jock McTavish.

Jock opened 'is bedroom winda an' yelled summit or other at the pair of 'em but coz e's from Glasgow we never understand a freaking word 'e says. Sounded dead angry though."

"Ey!" interupted Takwana, "don't ferge' the stale piece of 'aggis 'e chucked at 'em as well, which 'it our lad in the eye. 'E didn't feel a thing though coz e' was bladdered but it's left 'im wi' a righ' shiner.

I said 'serves yer bloody well righ fer waking up the bleeding neighbours like tha'. Go' no sympathy from me the dozy git."

The phone call ended with Lady G. arranging to meet up the girls the following day for a meal at Morrisons in order to do a bit of gossiping on current events.

If it's interesting, we will bring it to the pages of The Spoof. If it's not, according to Lady. G. then we won't.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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