Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 11 March 2011

image for American Idol's Ashthon "The Little Supreme" Jones Gets Sent Home Ashthon Jones shown standing behind the man in the orange shirt at LAX Airport.

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol's 'Lucky 13' contestants have now been cut down to a dozen of one, two half dozen of the other.

The season's first three singers who found themselves in the infamous "Bottom 3" were Karen Rodriguez of New York, Haley Reinhart of Illinois, and Ashthon Jones of Georgia.

And after sitting through live performances from Adam Lambert and P. Diddy, or Puff Diddy, or Puff Puff Scobey Doobey Diddy, or Diddy Dirty Money, or whatever name the hip hop, rip rap egomaster goes by these days Ryan was handed the "Bye-Bye Card."

The dreaded "Bye-Bye Card" is the card that contains the name of the contestant whose American Idol journey ends tonight.

Seacrest, who is the bed partner of Dancing With The Stars dancer Julianne Hough, who is the sister of Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough, looked at the card and said that Karen was safe. She quickly ran back to the chairs were the other 10 singers were sitting.

Jacob Lusk grabbed her and held on to her as if they were on a small boat being tossed on the rough ocean. Pia Toscano later said that she could hear Karen telling Jacob to let her go. But Jacob kept holding on to her saying that he was the Ebeneezer Baptist Church bro and it was his job to make everyone feel good about themselves.

James Durbin said that he finally had to stand up and tell Jacob to let Karen go before Jennifer Lopez or someone else called security.

And then Seacrest revealed that the one who was probably going home was the little Diana Ross lookalike Ashthon Jones, unless of course the three judges voted unanimously to keep her after hearing her sing one more time.

So Ashthon got to sing again. She chose to sing an old classic from 1974 entitled "Kung Fu Fighting."

After she finished Ryan asked Jennifer, "Okay Jenn, what say you? Is Ashthon with the "TH" going to stay or will she be buying an airplane ticket back to Valdosta, Georgia?

Jennifer started crying. She dabbed at her eyes. Steven Tyler gave her a Kleenex and Randy Jackson offered her his shirt sleeve. J.Lo took the Kleenex and she shoved Randy's sleeve out of the way.

She finally gained her composure and told her that she did not want to hurt her feelings so she was going to give her their answer in Spanish. J.Lo looked at Ashthon and said, "No."

Ashthon started crying and hollered out that she had paid $85 to get her hair fixed all pretty and for what? For not a damn friggin thing.

Seacrest told her that the producers did not allow cussing on the show. Ashthon told him that the producers could kiss her African-American Georgia behind. She threw the microphone towards the judges table and walked off stage left.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: American Idol security guards had to restrain Miss Jones by putting her in handcuffs. They drove her to Casa American Idol and had her gather up her belongings and then they drove her down to LAX Airport.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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