Written by Jesus Budda

Thursday, 10 March 2011

image for Fascinating . . . Teeth Wish I had a bloody pair.....

I get many emails from people eager to learn more about the FASCINATING world of Teeth.

Actually that's a lie.

I have never got a single email relating to this matter, sadly.

But deep down I know you have been craving some knowledge on this subject.

Here are some FASCINATING Teeth facts. . .

Teeth of different shapes do different work.

Chisel-shaped 'incisors', the front teeth in the human mouth, are used to bite and cut. The pointed 'cuspids', the canine teeth, are used for tearing and shredding.

'Bicuspids' are double-pointed teeth that are used to tear and grind.

'Molars' have broad, uneven surfaces for crushing and grinding.

The structure of animals' teeth vary.

Plant-eating animals usually have well-developed 'incisors' for biting and strong molars for grinding.

For instance, the elephant, a plant eater, has long incisors, or tusks, for rooting and powerful 'molars' for grinding.

Beasts of prey have long, strong 'cuspids' for piercing and tearing flesh; they have few or no molars.

Human beings have a diet of plant and animal foods and, hence, have all four types of teeth.

Humans who have a diet of bricks, gravel and metal railings have 'no teeth'.

Humans grow two sets of teeth.

The first set serves during infancy and childhood. These teeth are known as the primary, milk, temporary, or deciduous teeth. They are gradually replaced by a second set. These are secondary, adult, or permanent teeth.

In some rare cases people can grow another set of massive teeth that fill the mouth - these are called 'Esther Ranzten Teeth'.

A snake's teeth are curved backward to ensure that its prey, which may be alive when swallowed, cannot easily escape.

In the families 'Viperidae' (Old World vipers, New World rattlesnakes, and other pit vipers) and 'Elapidae' (cobras and their relatives), the front pair of teeth are modified into fangs that are larger than the other teeth.

The fangs of the Viperidae fold inward when the mouth is closed.

In the family 'Colubridae' there are several species of rear-fanged snakes, or snakes whose back pairs of teeth are fangs.

The 'Pascaline' was the first calculating machine, built in 1642 by French physicist Blaise Pascal when he was 19 years old. What a clever lad!

This early ancestor of the pocket calculator counts whole numbers by the cogs, or teeth, on a cogwheel.

The cogwheel is connected to a mechanical gear system. The machine can add or subtract numbers having up to eight figures at a time, working much like the odometer on a car - except this one can't be tampered with by unscrupulous second-hand car dealerships.

In coal mining, The large machines used are mobile and have a large drum on the front covered with metal teeth. As the drum spins in a circle, the teeth break the coal from the face - the place in the mine where the coal is being worked.

These machines are also great for killing baddies in films such as Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

The Goblin Shark is a rare, bottom-dwelling shark belonging to the family 'Mitsukurinidae', which is part of the order 'Lamniformes' (mackerel sharks). The goblin shark is the sole member of its genus, 'Mitsukurina'. Its scientific name is M.owstoni - the similarities to the species MarkusLowtoni are remarkable.

The goblin shark's upper and lower teeth are generally slender but vary in size by position in the jaws.

The dagger like front and side teeth have a single, long cusp, or point. The side teeth gradually decrease in size toward the back of the jaw, and the back teeth are extremely small and cuspless.

The Goblin Shark has no affiliation with the 'little people' and has no knowledge of the whereabouts of pots of gold at the end of rainbows.

Next time you are having a picnic on the beach with a Goblin Shark try to complement him on his fine set of chompers. You could even try to recreate that scene in 'From Here to Eternity'. Who knows? Love works in mysterious ways.

In new-born horses, within a week or ten days after birth, a foal has two upper and two lower incisor teeth. At a year old, it has six upper teeth and six lower ones.

All of these are milk teeth, much shorter and smaller than the permanent ones.

The horse begins to get its permanent teeth when it is about two and a half years old, but does not have all of them until it is about five years old. It is then said to have a "full mouth."

A talking horse that starts spreading gossip is said to have a "Big Mouth".

'Carding' is a process used during Wool production.

In carding, large revolving cylinders with wire teeth straighten the wool and comb it into a filmy sheet, called a sliver.

Woollen yarn is carded to make it fuzzy so that a 'nap' can be raised later.

The process is rougher than that used for 'worsted' because the wire teeth revolve in opposite directions. In the worsteds' carding process, the teeth revolve in the same direction. Worsteds show the pattern of the weave clearly.

You could avoid this whole rigmarole entirely by simply finding a sheep and tying it to you with a bit of twine. You'd look like a knob, but at least you'd be a warm knob.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Go to top
65 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more