Written by Bureau

Friday, 4 March 2011


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It's Friday & Welcome to Today's News with Rush Limbo!

From behind the silver mike...had to sell the gold one, this is Friday when YOU choose the subject! Turdley is taking your calls and we'll hear from you after these news updates:

According to the latest Wall Street Journal, the reign of the dollar is almost over. However, the treasury says that as the dollar shrinks, it will take less paper to print them so we could be saving millions there.

There is talk today about Chavez of Venezuela accepting talks with Gadhafi. The talk is coming from the people of Venezuela, not Libya...apparently hoping Chavez won't come back.

You can't smoke in New York City even outdoors. So be prepared for thick stinking fogs in bathrooms there. The fine is only $50 but after being caught three times, you have to learn to swim underwater in the East River with your feet in cement. That's an old tradition there. Kind of like the old witch trials.

Anne Hathaway says she was paid $750,000 to wear a Tiffany diamond necklace to the Oscars. She had two bodyguards. Anyone looking anything like Lindsay Lohan was immediately slapped hard and frog-marched out of the place. It's a good thing that no one looks like Lindsay anymore.

Can you believe that the Easter stuff is already in the stores? I think some are cheating and melting leftover Valentine candy into rabbit-shaped molds. And the Easter Egg hunts are not the same since so many kids are now using egg-sniffing pigs.

Did you hear that times are getting so rough, Letterman will only have a Top Eight from now on his show? You have to cut back where you can.

The Supreme Court voted 8-1 that those people who shout at the funerals of our soldiers that they have gone to hell, have the right to do so! They have the freedom of speech to do that, while the grieving family of the soldier are saying goodbye to their son or daughter who gave up their lives for the shouting freaks to have freedom of screech. Maybe some families can get photos of those protesters, place them on nude bodies and place those on billboards. Wouldn't that be freedom of artistic expression.

"Now YOU'RE going to hell, up there with your privates hanging out!"

Until Monday, this is Rush Limbo.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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