Every morning I wake up to find that Her Majesty's Royal Mail service has delivered many a letter to my door. Today, along with my issue of the Economist and the Independent, I have several more letters. Why they don't send me emails, I don't know. Also, why are the letters re-directed to me?
From Larrisa Clarks in San Deigo
I am leaving you for another site. I know this may be hard to understand for you, but its best for both of us.
From Your Friend in New York City
The package is in the place of the big green rectangle. Ah fuck it. The money is taped to the underside of a bench in Central Park.
We are Anonymous... oh sorry. Wrong address. Whoops.
From David Cameron in London
As part of my jolly old Big Society, I want you to take over the BBC. You see, we need volunteers, and as you all dedicate time and effort into writing stuff, and many of you have Media Studies - obviously - you can all run the BBC. Of course, you won't have a lot of money, but hey.
From Dr. Evulz in Birmingham
We have every Spoof writer in existence. We will plagurise one of thier stories a dae if you don't giv us £5.