Written by armfeetandtoe

Tuesday, 25 January 2011


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image for Whats it all about, Alfie?

I have not got a clue. My life evolves day to day and it changes like the seasons. Put a coat on cos its cold, take a coat off cos its too bleedin hot. But, when is it to hot and when is it to cold? Who the fuck knows.

I met a geezer the other day, says he thinks his wife is havin an affair. When he starts to explain where she works and wot she looks like, I realise its me avin it off wiv his old woman! What do I say to the bloke? I rang her that night and called it off, I mean, I know what her old man looks like, dont I, so every time me an her are at it, I see his crying eyes! Fuck that.

I think people cheat cos they are bored. Not bored wiv the husband or wife, just bored with life. Instead of changing the routine, they go and have a jump behind the partners back. Problem is, it all ends in tears. Is the grass greener on the other side? I've never met anybody that hopped over the fence, and stayed there.

People say life is like a roller coaster. Bollocks. Life is like walking blindfold through a mine field. Your be lucky if you get to the other side without something going bang!
A walk on the wild side! Do me a favour, the only wild things in our lives live in a zoo.

Anyway, got to go, customer to serve.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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