Written by John Peurach

Monday, 24 January 2011

image for La Regle Du Sundances With Wolves In Sheep's Clothing Jue: Festival Dispatches Part 6 HE TRIED TO HAVE HIS POPCORN, AND EAT IT, TOO! - Mild-mannered Spoofer cuts his own throat to spit his farce.

PARK CITY, UTAH - And so it was. Still not sure why, maybe just because.

All in all, business as unusual, I suppose. But, to show you just how much the whole have to be here muss and fuss has a way of paying off big time, Sony has already announced a major pickup deal of "Mudderized For Your Protection," with no wink promises to turn it into a major summertime tentpole. All of which will, no doubt, be aptly supported by perhaps the hottest action figures since "A Woman Under The Influence."

And, in semi-related news, Tony Award winning musical savant, Marc Shaiman, has earmarked "Have Trout, Will Mask Replica" to be his ride the whirlwind ticket back to the Great White Way.

Apparently, all it took was one after midnight screening of the rustic British import, and the happy-go-lucky song stylist fell so dippy in love with what he could only guess was going down, that now the only thing on his plate (besides a half eaten hamentashen) is to bring this altogether untamed, tune-filled curio to the Big Apple, and unleash it Broadway bound and ungagged.

With any luck, this would-be, can't miss, go-to extravagonzo, designed specifically for the ever so loyal Time Square crowd faithful, should prove, once and for all, that the Shai Man is no long shooting blanks, and definitely in the mood to bookend with big score he pulled off a few seasons back with his ever-popular "Hairspray" gold mine.

Meanwhile, as for the closing night here in Park City, everything went according to hoyle, with nary an unsuspected surprise to gum up any of the carefully pre-planned, fully attended festivities.

Meaning, of course, that it was indeed amazing to see what miracles make-up maven Bobbi Brown could perform on Mario Cantone's shiner. And well, who knew that Colin Farrell would turn out to be such a dynamo when it came time lead a roomful of well oiled partygoers in doin' the Hustle?

Anyway, here be like the last three films to unspool at the fest, each of which should soon be up and running at a Cineplex and/or on a Smartphone somewhere near you.


Typical Bollywood Fish Tandoori Masala-out-of-water story, only more so. Runaway pre-arranged bride chases runaway pre-arranged groom all the way to Canada where, to sort things out, and, have a high old time misadventure (or two), said head for the Great White North groom signs on to become a member of the Canadian Mounted Police.

Anyway, once the would-be bride (and assorted extended he and she family folk) shows, things pretty much run the full fun as all get out gambit from there. In other words, cue the confusion. And, of course, do anything but sit tight as mucho songs and swirling every which way dancing by everyone quickly ensues.

Gurinder Chadha ("Bend It Like Beckham," "Bride & Prejudice," and Bhaji On The Beach") adds another to her list of international/Bollywood-induced charmers.

And although, plot-wise it's all about Kareena Kapoor and Farhan Akhtar as the battling bride and groom, when all is said in fun, it's Evangeline Lilly as the unsuspecting, yet totally got it together, Canadian journalist/amazing dancer who quickly becomes the lovely eyes and head-to-toe then some at the center of the altogether wacky three-way romantic storm.

Also appearing are Vera Farmiga, Dan Aykroyd, Margot Kidder, Kate Nelligan, Norm MacDonald, and, believe me, a helluva lot of Whoever Patels.


A definite don't want to miss flick that seems to go out of it way to remind you just what kind magic is still attainable down at the local Bijou, when, luckily for all concerned, the fella in the middle of all the hub-bub is the sort of wise and well respected man of few words, who insists that whatever he says, be, as always, so nicely well put.

And, even though this may sometimes drive many of his fellow, up the lazy river, jury of his peers to points of high-spirited distraction. There's still enough room for this volunteer sawbones to repeatedly wow an audiences of used to be disbelievers with his otherwise sturdy, upright, and altogether calming influence.

Especially when the kudzu hits more than just the usual Gator fan (right where the revenuers lost count), and an unlucky SUV of spring break bozos and bozettes take the wrong exit during their hasty attempt to get to a coastal town before their classmates drink it dry.

Meanwhile, Viggo Mortensen really lets his guard down with this one, and by doing so, reveals an abundant supply of totally startling layers to his usual quiet, kind of a hush soul that few, if any, ever knew existed. Along for the smooth, filled with hospitality, glide of the their lives are Chloe Sevigny, Amy Adams, Harry Dean Stanton, Jackie Earl Haley, and Bruce Dern.

Director Wes Anderson has indeed made some curious films in his time ("Rushmore," "The Royal Tenenbaums, and "The Darjeeling Limited"), but this one takes the cake, that few if any could ever pretend to have and properly eat, too, with just one viewing.


A perhaps slightly overlong, yet entirely high spirited look at what goes down when a failed screenwriter/two-bit background actor attempts to hopefully amuse a loose network of international would-be chums with a more or less "What if?" parlor game that, of course, quickly goes to hell without a hand basket.

Thereby setting in motion his eleventh hour exit - stage left, into the never ever land bowels of the City of Angels, only to wind up eventually at an unspecific Southland hospital for what turns out to be an emergency satirical bypass. (In stereo, where available.)

Doing his best (which still isn't enough) to conceal his otherwise non-descript identity in this one is Steven Wright, who's joined by a full roster of fellow Emerson College talent that includes: Denis Leary, Arleen Sorkin, Mario Cantone, Eddie Brill, Clifton Powell, Mary Kay Adams, Steve Sweeney, Anthony Clark, Laura Kightlinger, David Cross, Joely Fisher, Gina Gershon, Maria Menounos, Henry Winkler, and, totally self-assured, in-house auteur-like director extraordinaire, John A. Gallagher.

All of whom have, over the years, been wise enough to have never lent money and/or attempted to otherwise professionally assist the rather uncharted life and times of a once upon a time classmate (or thereabouts) who someday might even admit (if brought before a senate sub-committee meeting hearing on otherwise wasteful pass the time activities of the "Who Knows Why?" kind) to being the origin of this whole mess in the first place.

Accent on might.

As in, well….that there be the story till now.

Cut, print it!

(Next: What happens in Cannes, stays in Cannes.)


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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