Written by armfeetandtoe

Thursday, 30 December 2010

image for Real lives: The Pawn Broker Mr Cohen outside his shop

Today, we speak to Errin Cohen, owner of Cohen Brokers.


MR COHEN, WHY DID YOU BECOME A PAWN BROKER?

"Oye! My farzer voss a pawn broker, my grandfarzer voss a Pawn Broker, my great great grandfarzer voss a Pawn Broker, vot voss I to do, become an accountant?"


I SEE, IS IT AN INTERESTING JOB?


"Interesting?! he says! Interesting! Oye vey! A man comes in the other day, he's got an elephant trunk, vot do I vont vid an elephant trunk? He tells me dey are collectable, I say to him, how many elephants round here need a trunk!"

"Den! Mrs Secombe brings her husbands false teeth, Oye! she says she needs der money for meat and vegetables! I tell her, how's he going to eat der meat!"


IS IT DIFFICULT MAKING MONEY AS A PAWN BROKER?

"Oye what a shunder! For every penny I give, der Lord takes a pint of my blood, why do you think I am so aneamic?! Me, make der money! Look at dis coat, It belong to my dead grandmudder! This suit! A broch tzu dir! for asking me!"

YOU ARE 70 YEARS OLD, WHEN WILL YOU RETIRE?

"Abi gazunt! I should vork until my son gets out of his bed in der morning! Another alter bosher in der family! Oye! his poor mudder, God rest her soul, if she where alive to see such a bohmer! No, I never retire, ven I go, the shop goes vid me"


DO YOU HAVE HOLIDAYS?

"Holidays! Holidays! Chas v'Cholille! Who runs der shop? Who prices der goods? Who does der books? Me, go on holiday!
not until the Ek velt! And even den! I got to close up!"

THANK YOU, MR COHEN, FOR OUR CHAT.

"For gezunterhait!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Pawnbrokers
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