An above board way (without the need to bug their phones) of finding out the truth about what many political figures really think, is a trip to their local posing as a nice considerate boy or girl. Our ace reporter took a trip to Vincent's local last night and came away with a completely different idea of the ministers views on students:
"Long haired layabouts on a par with workshy council estate scroungers.
"Indolent scroungers enjoying three or more years of debauchery, drink, drugs, sexual excesses and gap years all paid for by the overburdened taxpayer. Not to mention the cost of treating their sexually transmitted diseases. They say they can't afford condoms. Rubbish...washable ones are available on the net at very competative prices.
"Many never even use their degrees as they lapse into the hippy lifestyle, breeding to excess with hands held out for whatever benefits are available, originally meant for the genuinely needy.
"Regarding the recent riots, secret government enquiries have been made to a German company specialising in the production of water canon, which is quite rediculous when we can modify old fire engines to meet that need and save a bloody fortune. Use coloured water and let the vicious bastards freeze their nuts off then be easily identified later."
Wow, what a revelation.