There is a new internet scam originating in the United States that is now targeting gullible Spoofers and as the designated Spoof Investigator I am taking this opportunity to put all of my fellow writers on FULL ALERT to fend off the nefarious scheme.
I was alerted to the scheme after being forwarded the enclosed e-mail by Canadian Spoofer/Proctologist Victor Nicholas who was unable to verify it's veracity through Snopes.
This attempt at fleecing is an insidious attempt at scamming, adding a new and slightly different twist to the now infamous "Nigerian Banking" scheme that has preyed on thousands for years.
Please don't fall for this attempt to take your hard earned Spoof Money and Retirement Nest Egg!
Here is the letter in in it's entirety:
Dear Dr. Nicholas:
I have been moved to write you after following your news and opinion pieces in the Isle of Wight daily tabloid.
What you may not know is that I hold the Isle of Wight close to my heart, after being born there some years ago, although this has been a closely guarded secret for reasons that shall become clear as I continue this letter.
For the past two years I have been the President of the United States, and prior to that I served as a US Senator, a state senator in Illinois, and early in my career as a 'bag man' for a community action group.
During that time I have amassed a vast fortune in the form of Campaign Donations, stock shares in nationalized manufacturing companies, stock options in various banking institutions, deferred payments and bonus money from pharmaceutical companies, and various cash awards for my humanitarian efforts.
Unfortunately due to 3rd world campaign laws, I have not been able to personally realize the fruits of my labours and this vast fortune, which I estimate to exceed $250M, remains securely out of my reach until I can find the right person to help me free it up, and share in my well earned rewards.
After reading your sympathetic pieces that show understanding, pathos, and yet a wry sense of humour, especially in your touching Obits, I think you are the type of good fellow I would love to share my wealth with using the formula of 40% +5% for incurred expenses for you, and the remainder for myself and my extended family.
You Dr. Nicholas, working at arms length from Canada, but with your close ties to the UK through the Isle of Wight, are in a position to help coordinate
my plan to move my fortune through TAX FREE wire transfers to a new "Freedom Workers Party" that could be set up in the IOW.
If we move swiftly, right after the mid term elections next week, and during the months of expected chaos, I can assure full cooperation with authorities here including Charlie Wrangle (sic) head of Ways & Means, who also steers the IRS, Homeland Security Chief Janet Napalatano, & Treasury Secretary Tim Geither and Banking Head Barney Frank who have pledged they will look the other way.
As I said in 2008, it's time for a "CHANGE" and that time has come for me.
With your devoted help, I will be able to free myself from the onerous position I now find myself, and move forward to the next great challenge, incorporating all the great Muslim nations in a leadership role in the European Union, a goal favoured by certain important leaders in the UK, as well as others sympathetic to THE CAUSE.
In addition to sharing in my wealth, I can promise you a position in the new World Wide Government , as either an independent CZAR, or in my Shadow Cabinet with unlimited power, and generous expenses.
Should you agree to work with me, please post the following headline in Next Wednesdays early morning edition in the IOW paper:
"Obama refuses to acknowledge overwhelming loss in mid terms, organizes national guard and prepares for martial law." You can fill in the rest of the story as you see fit.
Once I know you are on board, I will have an emissary contact you to confirm
the necessary details to begin transferring money through your account.
Naturally, we will need full confirmation of your identity, so please be prepared to supply copies of all pertinent personal details including internet pass words, driver's license number, birth certificate (ha), banking information
and your Spoof Press Pass and Key Card to the Spoof Offices in Britain.
Thanking you in Advance,
Barry Hussein Obama
President, United States of America
PS: Just think; over $100M could be yours tax free , enough for you to
retire enabling you to visit and fish the world's most exotic destinations!
Remember this thought the next time you have to stick your finger up somebody's arse in your role as Spoof Proctologist!