Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 27 September 2010


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image for More Quotes About The GOP Guru Known Simply As Rush Limbaugh Rush has told his cigar provider that since he got married for the fourth time he no longer needs these little "Blue Pills."

Rush Hudson Limbaugh, III, is 59-years-old and he has just published his third book on quotes entitled More Quotes About The GOP Guru Known Simply As Rush Limbaugh.

The noted radio host, political commentator, author, and television personality, is truly one American who loves to argue whether he is right or wrong.

One of his best friends Glenn Beck has stated that Rush is such an argumentative fellow that he would have argued that Nazism was really just one step above the chamber of commerce.

Limbaugh recently married for the fourth time and this time, as in the previous three marriages, it was also to a woman; Kathryn Rogers.

His third book on quotes is entitled...


SARAH PALIN: The last time that I was on his show, fatboy reached underneath the desk and put his hand on my left thigh. I told him during the next commercial that if he ever tried that again I would shoot off his little bitty pecker, take it back to Alaska, and feed it to my pet polar bear Tea Bags.

GLENN BECK: I do not know why but when I see Rush and think about his utter substance abuse I just get all teary eyed and I start crying even if I'm happily having sex with myself at the time.

INES SAINZ: Who dee heck ease dees Rash Limber senor who says dat he would pay to see my painted on jeans without dee paint?

BETTY WHITE: Rushy baby is so gosh darn sexy. I can just stare at the man and I swear my teeth will just start rattlin' and shakin' like that Shakira woman's hips.

RANDY JACKSON: The man is definitely pitchy.

JOAN RIVERS: Rush Limbaugh is so grossly obese that Pasadena wants to rent him to be one of next year's Tournament of Roses Parade floats.

KATHY GRIFFIN: Rush wants me bad. I can just feel it by the way he looks at me, and also by that strange little way that his crotch starts throbbing when I'm around him.

SHARON OSBOURNE: I do believe that I would do the old bastard. But only with the friggin lights off and if he promised, in writing, that he would never tell anyone.

WILLIE NELSON: Rush Limbaugh? Isn't that the kind of Rush you get when you smoke a Limbaugh.

MALIA OBAMA: My daddy says that Mr. Limbaugh is full of shit. Oops. I'm not supposed to say that word. Let's change it to poop okay?

Rush Limbaugh was to have appeared on this years edition of Dancing With The Stars but the shows executives changed their minds when they learned that none of the female professional dancers would agree to have him as their partner.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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