Written by walter

Sunday, 12 September 2010

Nature, at the very beginning, gave horse a forelock to swish away flies and insects. ‎She, also, gave the horse a tail to constantly whisk away the blood sucking horse-flies ‎from his sensitive testicles. Moreover, she granted the horse the ability to "shiver" the ‎skin to get rid of flies landing on his body. ‎

Of course, man has supplemented nature's insufficiencies, such as 'fly repelling brow ‎band' or 'flies-sheet mask', etc. Before the advent of insecticides, man learned how to ‎fight the bugs, by fuming straw at sunset to repel hordes of mosquitoes, or using ‎mosquito nets. Presently active ingredients in insect repellents are DEET and Picaridin. ‎Other organic ingredients are: Lavender, Citronella, Eucalyptus, Pennyroyal, Peppermint ‎and Lemongrass oils. ‎

However, people of Pakistan and Africa, seen on TVs, when forced to leave their home, ‎seem defenseless against same flies and mosquitoes that their nomadic forefathers ‎could fight against. Their children are seen to be attacked by hordes of flies. ‎

Needless to say that man's mission might be to assist Nature on a case-by-case basis. ‎Man has been good at inventions. History is replete with cases of ordinary people who ‎have discovered facts about science way ahead of scientists, like the diary maid who ‎told Edward Jenner that she had 'no fear of smallpox …because form her own cows she ‎had gotten cow pox'.‎

Flood-hit Pakistanis, like the rest of world, have demonstrated significant fact about the ‎mentality of Homo sapiens: deep rooted religious conviction, active involvement in ‎reproduction and resistance to change. On the other hand, in Europe we find a German ‎married father who refuses to add another child to the population, reasoning that he ‎does not wish to put further burden on Germany to look after his children. ‎

Why Western Europe has almost ceased natural birth while in the Moslem world this ‎trend is on the rise, and a head of administration urges women to give birth to children ‎this year and receive a $1000 prize for doing so?‎

What is taking place? Aren't those who invented 'fly repelling brow band' and modern ‎communication systems on the verge of extinction? We have been hearing a lot about ‎the process of integration as of 1970s: integrating communism with capitalism, mixing ‎German genes with Arab genes, Twin-Towers site bordering a Moslem mosque, forcing ‎Pakistanis to leave their adobe in the mountains and cram into high-rise beehives of ‎Karachi. ‎

Now, let's quote Glamour Magazine June 2008, page 118: "…near the coffee machine… ‎there was no personal chemistry…I was attracted in a primeval way…one night we got ‎drunk…got giggy with it on the sofa, then, to my horror, he tore back my shirt, popping ‎the buttons…his eyes said, 'I am man, you are woman'…threw me about like a puppet. ‎‎'Do you want it hard?' I…laughed with a mixture of embarrassment and horror… The ‎next day…at the sight of the pale, snoring man next to me..."‎

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Go to top
60 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more