Written by Guy Bellefonte

Sunday, 25 July 2010

image for Facebook Addict Tells Co-Workers "I never check my account" Secret Facebook Freak

When Anthony Kim, a 38 year old IT consultant, was asked by co-workers if he was on Facebook, his response was automatic.

"I think I have an account or whatever. I don't get why people are on there all day."

His fellow colleagues moved on with their conversation while Kim stared at his bologna sandwich desperately wanting to run over to his cubicle to check his Wall for updates.

His daydream ended abruptly when a new hire fresh out of college held up her IPhone and announced, "Anthony, what are you talking about? Your page says you have 1,342 friends and you just updated your Wall two hours ago where you wrote, "Can't believe Lady Gaga tickets sold out soooo fast! This sux!" And it looks like your a total Mafia Wars geek.

Kim, sat there speechless. He wanted to keep his Facebook addiction out of the workplace, but now...now it's all out there for the whole office to see. How the hell was he going to explain all of this nonsense?

The truth is, there was only one option for Kim. OWN IT!

Kim came screaming out of the Facebook closet, friending everyone in the office and even revealed his Twitter account, @ITnerdhotpants38. He sent out tons of cause invitations, made a point of documenting every last detail of his boring life, commenting on other's family photos and taking stupid tests about his "friends."

As a result of Mr Kim's Facebook notoriety, he has become much closer with the women in his office, but not in the way he had hoped.

"I think most of the women here think I'm gay and Karen from accounting definitely thinks I'm totally weird. But that won't stop me from commenting heavily about her son's birthday pics:

"Happy Birthday Brett-I sit next to your mom at work. These pics look like you and your family had an unbelievable birthday celebration. I am also a HUGE Spiderman Fan and even have my own costume! If you ever want to borrow some comic books, I can bring them into work to give to your mom. Peace out lil' dude. (Karen, I'll see you Monday. Bring in cake if you have leftovers!)"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Facebook
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