Written by Lady Godiva

Sunday, 4 July 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Norma Ferkin sues local council over husband's death Sad times for the Ferkins

Isle of Wight News - Norma Ferkin, wife of the late Buster Ferkin is suing Ryde council for the wrongful death of her husband. (For details of Buster's demise, read Skoob's article about Mr.Ferkin - you should read it before you read this article actually.)

She told us, "He was hounded, I say 'houded', by the bloody neighbours just coz our fence was getting a bit sad looking..

I told him just to paint it but he was a stubborn bugger and said he would do it like the neighbours' fences if it killed him.

Look what's happened. Dead as doorknob now. Well knob in life and knob in death I suppose.

If we're supposed to be so neighbourly then why didn't the bloody neighbours do it for us? I ask you - do they sound like good neighbours to you?

All they said to me since he died are things like:

Why didn't he bloody well wear an oxygen mask - and

He could 'ave paid a poor fella on the dole to do it for 'im.

Well I'm suing the council coz I can't afford the funeral costs. My dear Buster is stuck in cold storage now until I can get enough money for the funeral.

Well actually, he's in our freezer coz I can't even afford the cold storage fees down at the morgue."

Norma Ferkin was led back to her house sobbing, by her son, Gunner B. Ferkin, who is on leave from the Airforce in light of his father's sudden demise.

When asked for a comment, Gunner B. Ferkin shouted, over his shouder,

"They'll all be sorry. You'll see. I'll not forget what they did to my dear ol' da'."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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