Written by goldie 206

Wednesday, 30 June 2010


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image for Fabled "Lost World " discovered in Yorkshire Dales Professor Greenslime in his observation costume!

It appears that the fabled "Lost World" has been found and its nestling somewhere in the remote valleys of the Yorkshire Dales.

Professor Greenslime of the "Castleford institute of lower education" was studying the mating habits of Yorkshire sheep and Yorkshire sheep farmers in the area between Ilkley Moor and Skipton (known by UFO enthusiasts as the Yorkshire triangle because of frequent sightings of strange craft landing "overt ill").

He was observing a sheep farmer chasing a sheep in his wellies and wondered how the sheep had managed to get them on when a strange ugly woman resembling Mother Shipton came up behind him.

"I ope thas not barnd overt ill is tha" she said with a cackle (a cackle is a small chicken in those parts)."Why not good woman was his reply"(wishing he had not said "good")? "There be strange things overt ill thanos". "Have no fear Missus".

"Miss," she replied. "I am an educated man and do not worry about stupid folk tales". He had read many such tales in the books written by James Heriot before he mysteriously disappeared whilst chasing a goat in these hill.

"Well be on yah way and take this rooster feather with you it will offer some protection". With that the professor strode off up yon hill. As he climbed a strange cloud surrounded him and as he dropped down the other side he saw shadowy creature in the valley bellow. Suddenly a mighty roar drifted up from the valley floor and he caught glimps of massive catlike animal which he recognised from history books as a "sabre tooth tiger" (there had long been tales of wild cats been seen in these parts).

Suddenly a "Wooly Mammoth" came into view and was attacked by the Sabre Tooth Tiger and a great battle took place.After the tiger had killed and had a meal on the body of the mammoth scavenging "pterodactyls" swooped down from the sky to feast on the bones.

The professor took photos on his digital camera to prove to the world that the "Lost world" really existed but was amassed that the camera would not work because of the hot steamy atmosphere.

While observing this strange land a revelation came to him. He realised that the small river below him (which was swarming with crocodiles) ran directly north in the direction of Masham the home of the famous beer "Theakstons Old Peculiar". It dawned on him that the name was a reference to this peculiar valley and was the reason when the beer is drunk it sends people bit peculiar. Obviously the water that the beer is made from has ancient properties (and crocodile shit).

Before the professor left the valley as he was climbing back up the hill he spotted a tribe of caveman like humans dressed in sheepskin but when he lifted up his binoculars to get a closer view he realised they were not wearing sheepskin but the fur was actually their own skin! As he observed further he noticed the "humans" had cloven feet and he instantly understood the meaning.

Obviously the women of the tribe had died out thousands of years ago through disease that only affected women and the menfolk had joined with the wild sheep so much that a new breed of half sheep half human had been produced.This theory was confirmed when the professor saw a large human kissing a rare Black Face Nidderdale and then calling after another one with a strange guttural bleating sound. Baaaa, Baaaa the sound echoed through the valley.

Upon hearing the sound of a distant T rex the professor ran atop the hill and left the strange new world behind.

He has been writing papers about his discovery for "National Geographic" and also included the discovery he made of a Plesiousaur in Roundhay park boating lake Leeds.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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