Written by anthonyrosania

Sunday, 20 June 2010

image for What Do You Get When You Mash Together 'Murder One' and 'Law and Order'? CRAP!, Coming Soon to AMC. Michael Rennie was there The Day The Earth Stood Still / and he told us where we stand / And Flash Gordon was there in...

What do you get when you create a show that merges "Law and Order" with "Murder One", ABC's mid-90's Daniel Benzali vehicle that rocketed absolutely no one to stardom? A flaming pile of sh-t that will defile Tivos nationwide this September.

AMC wishes to introduce you to "The Killing", their dramatic hope-to-nab-some-Emmy-nominations caja de mierda for the fall 2010 season. "The Killing", as its unpluralized name implies, will follow the police investigation of a young girl's murder in the Pacific Northwest, tying together three interlocking stories as investigators chase a variety of leads.

Yup, one case. The same case, every week. Like OJ's trial coverage, or the aforementioned Murder One, which became drudgery to watch after S01e02.

Expect to see a lot of dramatic stares, snappy gallow's humor from the detectives, and Law and Order-like interviews with suspects that we soon learn have nothing to do with the case.

The same case, every damned week.

UPDATE: Speaking of Law and Order, this is the script for every scene with a suspect that turns out to be a dead-end.

DETECTIVE: Here's one. David Lambropoulos. He did 5 years in Ossining for assault.

"STIEN AND SONS SHIPPING"
"AVENUE J AND 96th"
"FRIDAY, MAY 11"

<Ching Ching.>

DETECTIVE: Is David Lambropoulos working today? We need to talk to him.

BOSS: He's busy.

DETECTIVE: Really? Well, I'll just call the DA and get a search warrant.

DETECTIVE #2: And our search will tie your whole operation up for a few days, at least.

BOSS: Fine, he's loading that truck over there.

(Crosses to Suspect leading truck.)

DETECTIVE: David Lambropoulos?

SUSPECT: Maybe. Who's askin'?

DETECTIVE: (Shows badge) NYPD, that's who's asking.

SUSPECT: What do you guys want?

DETECTIVE: Oh, we were just wondering if you've talked to your friend Nicole lately.

SUSPECT: No. Why?

DETECTIVE: Because her body just washed up from the East River. So, I'll ask it another way; where were you last night between 8 and 11.

SUSPECT: Having dinner.

DETECTIVE: Alone?

SUSPECT: No. With my mother in Bridgewater.

DETECTIVE: And I'm sure if we call her she'll lie for her son, right?

SUSPECT: She wouldn't be lying.

DETECTIVE: Yeah, right.

SUSPECT: Yeah, that is right. And I can prove it. I got a ticket on the way home. (Produces ticket.) See? 10:14PM. OK?! (Slams truck door, drives away.)

DETECTIVE: Well, that was useless. Let's go back and talk to Nicole's roommate. Maybe she knows why Nicole would've taken a long walk off a short pier."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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