'Mummy, a boy used the four letter word beinning with C about me today'.
'Really, that's disgraceful. I loathe that word more than any other.'
'No need for more. I suppose there's a T?'
'Yes. How did you know?'
'I've heard it before, Penelope. And there's an N isn't there?'
'No. It's an E. He said I was a cute.'
'That's lovely darling. He thinks you're cute.'
'I thought he meant that thing in Geometry. A cute anal or something.'
'Cute is a nice word for a boy to use about a girl.'
'You know that boy you were talking about' said Sebastien, Penelope's elder brother - that's Terence Stamp, he's the best centre forward the school has ever had.'
'He will be ready for the vacancy in the England forward line for the next World Cup' Penelope's father commented.
'Do women play football Daddy?' asked Penelope.
'Yes. Some of them are quite good.'
'There were strong women in British history. Boadicea and Lady Godiva for instance.'
'Lady Godiva put on quite a show' explained Sebastien 'in fact she had a bare arsed cheek.'
'You know' said Penelope thoughtfully 'football can't be so bad after all.'