Written by j.w.

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

image for Penelope on Government That's all history now

'What's a Coalition Mummy' asked Penelope in a distracted way.

'That's when two different groups get together when they are not always in agreement.'

'Like you and Daddy?'

'Sort of. But we are just two people, not two groups.'

'But you have a Coalition, because Daddy is a Conservative and you are a Liberal Democrat.'

'Yes, in that way we do get on even with our different opinions.'

'Our Art teacher says all Governments are the same and whoever you vote for the Government gets in.'

'Does he now. Well, I suppose Art teachers can say things like that.'

'He's popular because he lets us do more or less what we like.'

'I hope you are still working.'

'Oh yes. He's a nice man. His uncle is a knight.'

'Glory. Who could that be?'

'Well, he's dead now and wrote about Art. Sir somebody Read, our teacher's Bert Read. We call him Bert, but the Head calls him Albert.'

'Well you are lucky to have such a man teaching you.'

'Mummy. Who is Hump?'

'Hump? That's something you find on camels.'

'No. He's person and used to play the trumpet.'

'Oh, Humph! Humphrey Lyttellton. I used to dance to his music.'

'Bert says he hasn't a clue.'

'Well, he's wrong there. He was very good.'

'No a programme that hasn't a clue.'

'That's I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. Very funny. I miss it.'

'He had a friend called George Melly. Our art teacher knew him and said he was great.'

'I met him once, darling. He had such a sweet smile.'


'That was before I met Daddy, darling.' She wiped a tear away.

'Mummy, you're going all red.'

'That's all history.'

'You have Daddy and us now. No more rum and bum.'

'Rum and bum? Where did you get that from?'

'Bert's got this book of George Melly's called rum and bum.

'No, that's Rum Bum & Concertina. The funniest book I've ever read.'

'Mummy. You're blushing again! But what a strange title.'

'Yes. But it's all history now.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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