Written by anthonyrosania

Friday, 11 June 2010

image for Newest iPhone to Have Removable Battery, Flash Support, Will Be Available on Any Carrier. The New Apple iScream - available in all good nightmares.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs has lit the universe on fire with the release of the iPhone 4. Here are some of the highlights:

1. It is 4G network compatible

The 4 in iPhone 4 can mean only one thing: It will have next-gen 4G data network support!! AT&T will reportedly have a 4G network up and running by this Thursday.

2.) More carriers!

Forget that one carrier that currently supports the iPhone: It'll be available at your nearest Verizon Wireless, T-Mobile, Omnipoint, Voicestream, Virgin Mobile, Boost Mobile, Cingular, Cricket or Mingo Wwireless store!

3.) Increased battery life.

Every time Apple puts out a new iPhone, the battery life gets better. iPhone will double talk time, up to 22 minutes, and triples standby time, up to 3 hours. But, if that wasn't enough…

4.) Removable batteries.

Open the iPhone's rear door, and a battery pops out! Up to seven batteries can be stored in the iPhone's portable, $15.00 charger.

5.) Better camera

Apple improved the camera in the iPhone 4 up to a whopping .455 megapixels, and has a flash that uses old Kodak Magic Cube pop-out flashbulbs! Rumors abound that Sony is developing an even better 1-megapixel camera for the 5th-gen iPhone.

6.) Improved home screen

We've got a beautiful customizable home screen, with a real "dashboard," just like Blackberry! But more gooder?

7.) HD output

Have you already spent hundreds on 720p or 1080i HD video from iTunes, but have to balance your phone on your nose to watch it on the iPhone's matchbook-sized screen? NO MORE! iPhone will have 3 HDMI outputs, just like the crappy and inferior Android-powered Evo, which already has full HD output via HDMI.

8.) More memory

You didn't think you'd be stuck with just a 16GB and 32GB version on the 4, right? Well, you can choose any size from 16GB to 4 TERABYTES! And if that wasn't enough…

9.) Expandable memory

It is about damned time. Pop up to a 16GB micro-SD in one of four slots in the iPhone.

10.) Flash support on iPhone 4

Thought it'd be a cold day in hell when Apple allows for Flash support on the iPhone. Well, Satan, pass the parkas, 'cuz the feud is over: Flash will run in the background, and … Buzz buzz buzz BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ!

Sh-t. My alarm clock. Wait, that was all a… dream???????

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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