Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 9 June 2010


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image for A Triology of Madness: Part III, The Future of it?! Proof that madness is in the FUTURE and not in the US!


Professor Loonybin Jaggedbananas-Fyffes is now hurtling towards the future and not back. His time-machine is in warp-factor 9 and the stars are looking heavenly tonight, bright, but dammit, suddenly a ginoromous black-hole appears:

The Future has arrived and with it a divine, pristine madness, never experienced before and a tale worth telling.

The landscape is barren and burnt as the foul stench of foul eggs from a one-legged chicked pierces the air, left over from a confrontation with a barbed wire obstacle, ouch!

Surprise, surprise, madness, it's consequences, follies, weaknesses, shortcomings, greatness and superiority dominate the yellow, misty flowing lava streams desperately attempting to reach the estuaries filled with human sewage begging for mercy and redemption.

The madness circled above whispering, "we warned you, we told you, you fought the insanity, you ignored us and now we are left with this, much ado about nothing (quoted from another mega-loony, sorry Willy)?

Professor LJBF, whilst attempting to keep his dastardly freshly pressed whites pristine clean and not smudged ("it's only cricket he thought") tip-toed between the sane, a light apeared in the distance.

Approaching he recognised a wise old man called (I could have called him God, but that's too obvious, in fact I'll call him the Elephant Man instead or Bill):

"Halt" he whimpered, "come no further" a sign appeared to hover above the Prof's head, it read: Jawohl, Arbeit Macht Nicht Frei, Madness, JA!

The Elephant Man waved a wave (realising the Prof was just a loony as he himself had been depicted a long long time ago humming American Pie), hesitating he followed Bill, alias?

Bill whispered "here lies complete and utter madness, your real home, your roots and Jimmy Savillle + his mum!"

"No, Eureka, never do I want to hold hands with Jimmy and his mum"

"But you must, it will cleanse your soul and mind of all sanity, have a go"

And with his mighty trunk blowing the Elephant Man/Bill disappeared into the foggy bogs of the Yorkshire Dales with the Baskerville Hounds not far behind.

On his long quest for the search of true madness, past, present, future, did PLJBF ever believe he would end up holding Jimmy Saville's hand and his mum, but Jimmy promised "I'll fix it lad" lit a cigar and imploded before his very eyes.

A blond wig floated tranquilly to the earth's surface leaving no doubt in PLJBF's mind he'd reached his Nirvana, Utopian Forests and Robin and his Merry (not gay but in tights nevertheless) men.

The moral of this epic Triology:

Never underestimate the power of insanity, it's here, there, everywhere, grab it by the balls, kick the shit out of it, but never ignore it, it will get you in the end.

As for Professor Loonybin Jaggedbananas-Fyffes, he's lost in the future, swimming against the tide hoping one day the Elephant Man will reappear and prove to the world that everything is nothing including YOU, YOU, AND YOU!

It was a pleasure, JO

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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