Written by Charpa93

Saturday, 5 June 2010

image for BP Stages Most Expensive Dog and Pony Show in History Circus Performer Known as "Tar Ball"

P.T. Barnum would be extremely proud of BP right now. His famous words "there's a sucker born every minute" could relate quite well to the millions of suckers who believed BP when they told everyone how safe BP's offshore oil well drilling platforms were when, in fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

But just as they got away with that lie, they are doing their darndest to get away with others such as "sure, we're gonna make everyone whole, don't you worry." Meanwhile, the money they could be spending on actually making good on that promise is going toward a more important (in their opinion only) cause and that is to keep the good name of BP from drowning in the oily sludge that is the mess the company has made of our Southern coastline.

While the American people are waiting for their compensation, BP is blatantly putting on one of the most expensive dog and pony shows in the history of the world. First, they want to make sure they get the word out that they are doing everything they possibly can to fix the oil spill problem and to do that costs money--$50 million or more to be exact to make sure the word gets out on American television stations. Tony Hayward may as well just stand in front of a camera and thumb his nose at America for 30 seconds. It would get the same message across.

And to make sure that their stockholders get the message that this little oil spill isn't going to interrupt business as usual, they are said to be planning on shelling out roughly (as if there is such a thing as roughly when you're talking about billions) $10.5 billion in stockholder dividends this quarter. That's a lot of shells, infinitely more than the shells that will no longer wash up on pristine Florida shores without attaching themselves to tar blobs along the way.

In case they haven't heard, the economies of four American states are literally on the line at the present time, and we're pretty sure the citizens of those states won't stand much longer for this show to stay in town without collecting the rent due from them setting shop up and going bad on their security deposit.

Yes, P.T., there's a sucker born every minute, but never underestimate the power of millions of suckers that won't admit to being licked.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: P.T. Barnum
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