Written by Charpa93

Thursday, 6 May 2010

image for A Better Gauge of Just How Big that Oil Slick is Abstract of Glenn Beck's Ego

If you've been watching news coverage of the oil spill off the southern coast of the United States, you no doubt have heard all kinds of comparisons as to the size of the slick. Seems it started out about the size of the state of Rhode Island, and then graduated to the size of Delaware. One newscaster claims it is the size of Nevada, and more recently, apparently not wanting to keep the sizing to just states, the slick has been compared by one writer as being about the size of Luxembourg.

But, honestly, wouldn't it make more sense to compare the size of the slick to something people are more familiar with? I mean, do you really know how many square miles makes up the states mentioned in the news reports? And although we know Luxembourg is considered a small country, would the slick not better be described as about the size of Liechtenstein?

At any rate, here are our comparisons in things that not only bring the size into perspective but also just how dire the situation really is:

Oil slick the size of Rush Limbaugh's underwear.
Oil slick the size of Elizabeth Taylor's engagement ring(s).
Oil slick the size of Lady Gaga's butt.
Oil slick the size of Joan Rivers' mouth.
Oil slick the size of Tiger Woods' divorce file.
Oil slick the size of Glenn Beck's ego.
Oil slick the size of David Hasselhoff's liver.
The size of Karl Rove's head.

There, you see? Don't the above comparisons give you a much better idea of just how severe of a problem we are faced with? Next time someone asks you how big the oil slick is, you can now tell them without a doubt that the oil slick is about the size of Lindsay Lohan's-you get the picture.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Topics: Oil
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Go to top
56 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more