Written by Lady Godiva

Saturday, 10 April 2010

image for Joanna Lumley is 'boiling' again "Politicians can kiss my white jeans" says Lumley

Joanna Lumley is boiling again. This time she is boiling because no party has approached her to join their ranks.

"It's not that I am boiling anxious to become an MP" chortled Lumley swigging vodka like it was going out of style, cigarette smoke curling up her pretty nostrils.

"I'm just boiling worried about what this country is coming to as a result of the boiling actions of today's political leaders. Boiling idiots most of them."

"I enjoyed my boiling success last year when I successfully campaigned to give more Gurkha veterans the right to settle in Britian. I was boiling chuffed at that as you can imagine. Sadly no party has asked me to stand as an MP but that's fine. No-one has wooed me.

I'm pretty happy though, as I have a boiling great new t.v. series coming out. It's a travel series and is boiling great fun. It was to do and I'm sure you will boiling enjoy it if you care to switch it on.

I got to taste all different foods. I didn't swallow as I'm not boiling stupid, but I did 'taste' them.

I'm playing my cards close to my boiling chest as to whom I will be voting for in the umpcoming election. Politicians are all boiling loonies anyway. I'd love to do a sitcom someday about them. I'd call it "Yes Minister".

When told that this had already been done, Lumley said, "Yes, I'm boiling aware of that, but it hasn't been done MY way. Jennifer and I are working on a script as we speak. Of course we know we'll most likely have to give it a different title: maybe 'Abosoultely Ministerial' ".

She went on to say that she thinks the country should be run by people who appreciate the humour of shows such as, 'Little Britain', 'Absolutely Fabulous' and 'The Graham Norton Show'.

"We need leaders with a boiling sense of humour," Lumley continued, "People who understand the ordinary boilers. What do these University bred boilers with degrees coming out of their arses, actually know about real life? Sod all if the truth be known. Pile of wankers the lot o' them."

Lumley talked about her desire to have St. George's Day celebrated. This is a topic close to this writer's heart.

( Writer's note: Bloody Canadian and Americans celebrate St. Patrick's Day. I refuse to deck my classroom walls with shamrocks and paper Leprechauns, rainbows and pots of bleeding gold when there's not an Irish person for miles around. St. George deserves to have HIS holiday. Oh! Don't get me going on that one. I'm pondering decking the halls with English Flags - the flag of St. George, just to shake up my colleagues.)

To end, Joanne is a wonderful role model for the young women of today. She loves to 'Yap on' and 'Yap on,' she does.

Way to go Joanne!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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