"Avlong", the well known door-to-door cosmetics firm has announced that it will very soon be adding a new Anti-aging cream to the pages of its catalogues.
"This cream is the miracle both women and men have been waiting for," stated Avlong's spokesperson, I.V.E. Gotcha from her office in India.
When asked what the ingredients of this 'miracle cream' were, I.V.E. Gotcha said she wouldn't release the 'whole secret formula' but did say it contained amongst other ingredients:
12 Grain Bread
Organic greens (bugs included)
Ground up bones of pygmies
Left over Chinese Food (pureed)
The list goes on.
It's said that rubbing the 'miracle cream' all over your body after your shower will work wonders for your complexion and will work it's way through your pores if you apply it to your skin according to manufacturers guidlines.
There are disclaimers printed on the packaging:
You may lose all of your friends (resulting in a stress free social life)
Dogs and cats may chase you (a very good 'free' workout)
You will lose your job (another stress free opportunity)
There is also a guarantee which goes along with the purchase of this product:
If, indeed, you are satisfied with this product, please send letters of 'praise' to the company and you will be aptly rewarded with 100 shares in the company.