Ozzie is so upset after having read Skoob1999's article in The Spoof. The one about Bogus Mothers.
"What the f**k is the world coming to?" asked Ozzie.
"A tell yer now for nothing. I'd rip the balls off anyone who tried to scam my Sharon like that. F***ing tossers.
SHARON, SHARON. COME 'ERE. A WANT YOU TO 'EAR SOMETHING. Can you 'ang on a minute while I get Sharon down 'ere? SHARON, SHARON, WE'RE F*****G WAITING 'ERE. WHAT THE F***K ARE YOU DOING FOR CHRIST'S SAKE?
Never mind 'er.
Meself, well A think it's freaking wierd, these fellas ripping old codgers off, or at least 'trying to', pretending to be their long lost kids. F******g a*******s.
I'm glad that the Canadian's 'ave been alerted by that writer, what's-is-name, from The Spoof. Skoob1999 I think is 'is name. I'm saying 'IS name but it could be a f*****g woman for all I f******g know. You can never tell with those Spoof Writers.
At least those poor buggers in Canada will have their FARTS to help them out.
Wish we'd 'ad FARTS on Mothers' Day. Still. Fore-warned is fore-armed - or whatever the f***k the saying is.
We'll 'ave OUR FARTS in place for next year. Maybe even for Fathers' Day if the government listens to the Canadians.
SHARON, SHARON. ARE YOU BARFING AGAIN? CHRIST, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST EAT LESS LIKE NORMAL BUGGERS./strong]
That woman will be the bloody death of me.
Feck! Sorry, but 'Father Ted's' on the telly. I just 'eard the theme tune, written by Dennis Waterman and sung by Dennis Waterman.
Come back tomorra. Tara for now lads!