Written by Robert W. Armijo

Friday, 8 January 2010

image for Kate Gosselin: "My new hair extensions make me look six kids younger, don't you think?" Kate Gosselin washes that man right out of her hair.

"I could never have longhair before," explained Kate Gosselin as she sat in a hair salon chair admiring her new hair extensions with a handheld mirror. "You know, because Jon always kept getting bubble gum, popsicle sticks or his sticky fingers stuck up all in it. That's how I ended up with that crazy looking hairdo. I was always having to cut it and all the time it kept getting shorter and shorter."

So Kate had no choice but to go with short hair look then.

"But now, now that Jon is out of my hair," continued Kate. "I can wear it long again and finally let it down after all these years."

As Kate confessed it had been years since she had longhair and that she is not quite sure she can manage taking proper care of it, she still wanted it just the same.

"So I went with extensions to practice on," said Kate as she arose form her chair. "Like I did with Jon."

Kate says every woman should be allowed longhair extensions to practice with before deciding if longhair, or her current husband, is really the look for her.

"The way I see it," said Kate as she walked over to pay the cashier. "The same should apply to a woman having her first husband...or her first eight kids for that matter."

According to Kate, it should all be counted as practice for the real thing, so that way she will be ready for when the real 'Mister Right' finally comes along.

"Now, I'll take 10 bottle of your finest conditioner," says Kate as she reaches into her purse to pay the cashier before pausing. "Wait...what am I thinking? I'm a free woman again. Make that nine bottles."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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