Written by jansal

Thursday, 31 December 2009

image for Elin Woods plans for the future "no comment"

While little is heard about Mrs. Woods (Elin) since all the news is about her husband, I was able to gain a private interview with her concerning her plans for the future. Mrs. Woods revealed that contrary to the many reports that she is leaving Tiger, she comments that this is the furthest thing from her mind.

Her plans are that she will be staying with him to take advantage of all the monetary means available to her. "After all" she smirks, "why should I take a mere $80 million and half of all he now has". She further commented that by staying with him she can keep all he has now and all he will still be getting in the future.

I asked her how she could stand to even look at him after what he has done with all those other women and she replied, "no problem, he is hardly ever home anyway, the only time he actually is with me and the children is when there is a promotion photo to take for various publications and I can bear that for the financial profits I will gain".

I asked how she could stand to have him touch her or to be intimate with her again after knowing about all the other women he has slept with. Again she rewarded me with that cute little smirk I now have come to know and love.

She answered, "From now on this will be a no touch, no sex marriage and any touching and sex or sexting he gets will be from his many "women" outside of this household".

Further relating that she will now have her own private bedroom and BATHROOM in all of their homes and on their fabulous yacht and that further stipulation will be that he is NEVER at any time permitted to bring any of his present and future partners into any of their owned properties or he will be penalized at the rate of a determined amount specified by her lawyers.

She also states that the children will never be allowed to be taken from her presence at anytime.

Under the circumstances, I in my own unbiased opinion, feel she is within her rights to all of her requests.

It is simply amazing that this beautiful woman can be so gracious as to stay with the man who has so bluntly humiliated her and betrayed their marriage vows time and time and time and time and time again.

Before closing our interview with Mrs. Woods I had one last question for her. "One of Tiger's women stated that he was "well endowed". is that a true statement? Her comment on that was the now famous Elin smirk!

Next week be sure to look for further interviews with some of the other "women" in the Tiger trauma.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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