Written by matwil

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

image for Americans get new national anthem American satire, a bigger oxymoron than a Muslim dating site

Tired of being laughed at for being the English-speaking world's permanent jokes, the USA today changed their national anthem from 'The Star Bangled Spanner' to the John Lennon song 'Revolution 1', in honour of Englishman Lennon managing to end the USA's feeble involvement in the Vietnam War for them.

And also in revenge for any articles here laughing at the feeble USA being rewritten by the sulking crybaby American editors, these are the lyrics:

'You say you had a revolution
Well, you know
You'll never change the world

We tell you that it's evolution
Well, you know
You don't want to change your world

But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know you can count the Brits out

Don't you know it's gonna be? (Another lost war)
All right (For Swiss bankers)
Don't you know it's gonna be? (Another dollar fall)
All right (For the Euro)
Don't you know it's gonna be? (Another Yank sulk)
All right (For Israeli death squads)

You funded the Final Solution
Well, you know
You won't admit to that plan

You ask Brits for a contribution
Well, you know
We'd rather fund Genghis Khan

But if you want money for TV Yanks that hate
All I can tell you is, brother, you're 3 centuries too late

Don't you know it's gonna be? (More GIs in body bags)
All right (For funeral directors)
Don't you know it's gonna be? (Morons saluting a flag)
All right (Not for the West Bank)
Don't you know it's gonna be? (Another lost war)
All right (For Brits that find you a bore)

You say you have a constitution
Well, you know
We all laugh as your votes are rigged

Your dumbness is an institution
Well, you know
The land of the free is done

But if you go criticising the PRC
You ain't gonna impress the BBC

Don't you know it's gonna be? (A useless British colony)
All right (For London bankers)
Don't you know it's gonna be? (Another feeble movie)
All right (For moron US wankers)
Don't you know it's gonna be? (A gift for British satire)
All wrong (For American taxpayers)

Oop, shoo-be-doo-wup
Ba doop, shoo be do wup
Oops Iraq is British
Oops Vietnam was French

Oops, inbred eejits
Ba doop, the world's dumb gits (The USA)

(Music by John Winston Lennon (English), lyrics by a passing cynical part-time satirist (Scottish). If America didn't exist the Scots and English would invent it to make them feel superior. Cue American outrage ... ewwwwwwwww.

Next thing Americans will invent the modern world. The only American invention in 233 years is the banjo. Can anyone lend me a fiver to bribe Americans to make me become the next US President?

Don't bother, being US Pres is about as important as being a road sweeper in Britain. Why does the USA exist?)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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