Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

image for Tribute To Jalapenoman Not J-man

Jman, often known as J-man
The only American I like,
And I'm not even sure about him, to be honest
Ah, go on! On yer bike!

I've never met the J-man
But he's from New Mexico
I'm told.
He weighed just over 400 pounds
When only 15 years old.

That's just background information,
Nothing derogatory,
I wouldn't speak ill of the J-man
He might sit on me
If he could catch me, which he couldn't.

He supports the Dallas Cowboys
With the star upon their hats
And those funny tight-legged trousers
They look a set of prats
But J-man's lovely.

Writing funny stories,
And articles as well,
But oh! His feet and armpits
Both really fucking smell
A bath would help.

So lets hear it for the J-man,
Temporarily gone AWOL,
He'll be back before you know it
With a story for us all.
I hope.

I don't know about jalapenos,
But I think he likes his burgers
And fries.

Woods 2009

Merry Christmas to the J-man and a Happy New Year and Happy Birthday to him as well whilst I'm at it.

When's Thanksgiving? Is it in July?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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