Written by Jaggedone

Friday, 4 September 2009

image for The totally, utterly maniac Spoof team exposed on St.Jagged's alias Jaggedone's blogsite! This Magazine masterpiece was based upon a true

Warning! This piece of shit was written under a bridge in Amsterdam, whilst fucking stoned, it's not fit for human consumption but better than Nitschke! (being totally subjective, Adolf!)

Avid and true Jaggedone's, St.Jagged has been travelling the cyber universe and has now returned from his billion mile travelling stints to reveal the TRUTH about where St.Jagged (disguised as Jaggedone!) has really been!!!

No Jaggedone's he's not been in cyber bordellos or porn "Cum" shoots, but he has been to a high security, totally "Loony" mental ayslum called the "Happy Farm for Retards" over at www.thespoof.com!

Whilst in captivity at the "Happy Farm" St.Jagged writes under the alias of Jaggedone for this bunch of nutters and thought I would reveal the TRUTH behind some of the "Broken Biscuit" writers who participate in the Asylum!

No Jaggedone hasn't "Flew over the cuckoos nest" (Jack Nicholson is like Peter Pan compared to this fucking mob!!) he is an outpatient at the Loonybin, just visiting in times when the uncontrollable urge to take the piss out of the world takes over and prozac fails, so a quick visit to The Spoof is a certain cure!

The Spoof writers are locked away in padded cells and only receive 2 hours "happy time" daily, in this time they sprint for the computers in a mad rush to get their Spoof stories published!

When completed they are escorted back to their cells in straightjackets, locked away until the bell rings, then the whole procedure repeats itself!

The top ten writers are the main nutters and strive to keep their positions safe, points are given for the "best" or most ludicrous spoofs! Those who achieve most points get bonuses in the form of dry bread and cockroaches and a pencil, those who fail get fuck all and are forced to write their draft Spoofs in their own blood, UUGH!
Life is shit as a "Nutty Spoofer"!!

Any global issue that happens is turned into a satirical Spoof for the cyber world to devour but behind these stories are a team of complete debauched maniacs including WHO?!

The stories are filtered by our "Big Nasty Brother" better known as Mark, or just plain Hitler!

Spoof writers are guarded by Jackbooted guards wearing Hannibal Lector masks (the masks make the writers feel more comfortable!) and only come out after dark!

Jaggedone's I'd like to give you some descriptions of the main "Loony" writers, here we go:

VC better known as Victor Nicholas = A total one-line grizzly screwball who can only count to one because of a piece of shrapnel sticking in his head. It happened in the great war 1914/18 at St Ypres, VC forgot to duck!

Earl Grey = Russian aristocrat who swallowed the bullet, never bats but misses nothing, totally batty and constantly recites Trotsky in ancient Mongolese!

Skoob99 = Total nutter who sees only "Red" always wears a straightjacket because if he is "Blue" he turns into a "Red Hulk", is forced to write with his toes, ingrowing!

Jesus Budda = Absolute Pyscho, eats little children, fucks his goldfish and nails himself to the cross, calls all Buddhas Burmese Arsefuckers and lives in a world according to the gospel of Charles Manson, alias "The Satanic Killer"!!

Fergus McCarthy = Papal Pitbull and only known non-gay catholic priest on the planet, kills Onion sellers and gay San Franciscan monks, only happy when reading the bible up-side down or inside out!

Madame Bitters = Loony whiplashing Dominatrix, has claws like a White Sharks teeth, rips all male Spoofers to shreads if they dare say "Pussy" and never lands on her feet, except while exerting punishment to males "Doggy Style" and likes a pint of best bitter!

Jalaponman = Cracked somewhere between El Paso and Bognor Regis, ever since then dreams of raping "Red Hot Chilli Peppers" and penetrating innocent onions, fucking weirdo!

Morse = Naval nutter who only sets for sail at low tides in his Submarine, ends up grounded and signals for help via Skoob in his "Red" Submarine, one as nutty as the other!

Smurfette = Turned Blue and very "Double Dutch" asked her Vater "Abraham" for forgiveness and he banished her to the Spoof!

Queen Mudder = The Queen of all fucking Pyscho nutters and absolute numero uno! Respected by all other Pyscho's, Jaggedone once tried to ant hill up her ever open thighs, the crush was to much and killed 5000 braincells in Jagged's head, only one left now!

Well Jaggedone's there are plenty more GAA GAA writers at the happy farm, to finish I'll just one line a few (sorry VC!)

San Francisco Onion = Boring US nutter locked up with
Buckwheats Buck fizz = No adjectives available for this fucking weirdo!
Frankie J = Pyschopathic word cruncher and fucks everything with 2 2 four legs!
Monkey Woods = Bangkok Hotel resident ( well he imagines he's in Bangkok anyway!) local resident and mad as the Maddest Hatter at Ascot, supports Hull, proof!

The list of Mentals writing for the Spoof is endless, but here you have a few of them, worth a read and a Chuckie, but don't ever dare cross Jesus Buddhas bathe robes, Pyscho Hitchcock's inevitable!

Well Jaggedone's there you have it, the Happy Farm over at www.thespoof.com!

As for St.Jagged he's just whipped the butt of his Chink slave WAN-KIN-DIK for being a lazy bastard and not pulling St.Jagged out of the spoof "Loonybin" quick enough with his one wheeled, earthquake damaged rickshaw, guess ol St.Jagged will just have to wait for the next "Happy hour"!!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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