Boogertown Police Chief B. Lee Bob reported to the Boogertown Banner this morning that yesterday's big pile-up on the Booger Green Bridge that kept it closed for three hours was due to the Jane's hearse leading the funeral procession of Amanda Rhoda Keats hitting an old dear that was crossing the road to get her mail and failed to notice the fourteen cars approaching.
"It's a good thing the hearse was right behind the police car", stated Officer Bob, "or more people would have been hurt. We've put up "Old Dear Crossings" all along here because of so many elderly citizens with dim eyesight or hearing problems."
Witnesses say there was a cow somewhere mixed up in the wreck, some 14 fender-benders. Thirteen people were taken to Juan's Clinic, including the deceased by mistake.
Meanwhile in near-by Boogerville, a reporter for the Boogertown Banner was fortunate enough to be among those who were able to attend a news conference called by the Dalai Lama who was in Tennessee to visit the Dolly Parton.
When asked about the Chinese treatment of the people of Tibet, the Dalai Lama raised one eyebrow in a show of extreme anger.