Continuing with our occasional series which brings you condescending advice aimed at saving you pennies, but normally with disastrous results,we are today going to tackle the serious subject of mobile phone induced brain schizophrenia.
We all know that it has never been unscientifically proven, or otherwise, that using a mobile phone causes brain schizophrenia, or any other disease for that matter, but a lot of people are worried it might, and that it may happen to them sometime in the future if not now.
It has also been rumoured, but never proven, scientifically or theoretically or even playfully, that using an earpiece that is connected to the phone by means of a wire, actually increases the risk of all of the above, whether real, perceived, imagined or dreamed.
To overcome this, there is a simple remedy and all you require is a roll of kitchen paper, the sort of stuff that those two hairy she-males advertise on the TV.
Well actually, you don't need the kitchen paper itself, just the roll in the middle, however if you are not in too much of a hurry there is nothing to stop you using the paper first and really getting your moneys worth.
Once you have your cardboard roll, simply place one end over the earpiece on your phone and the other end over your ear.
It has not been scientifically proven that the standard kitchen roll tube is the optimum length, but I reckon it is.
It looks long enough to keep the radiation away but is not too long that even people with the shortest arms will find it comfortable to use.
To make this 'Thrify Tip' even thriftier, the tube can double up as a wind omitter.
If you are trying to make a phone call on a really windy day, and are standing in the middle of a field, then simply place the cardboard tube over the mouthpiece of the phone and talk through the other end.
You may have to squeeze the ends a little bit to make a snug fit, but it is quite easy with a little practice.
The only downside is that you cannot hear what the other person is saying, but this can sometimes be a good thing.