Written by Chamone

Friday, 24 July 2009

image for Caterpillar Refuses To Change Into Butterfly Unless Everyone Looks Away Look closely. It's in there somehwere....

A shy caterpillar has said it will not change into a butterfly while its being watched.
The insect is cooped up in its cocoon and refusing to come out unless everyone turns around while it changes.

Caterpillar's are usually known for their outrageous behaviour and overt sexual freedom. Many caterpillars have become top models on the catwalks of Milan and Paris. Indeed, Kate Moss was a skinny caterpillar before she became a skinny human.

Butterflies are nice, aren't they?

Sorry, I got distracted with this story because I suddenly realised that it is going nowhere.

Don't you just hate when that happens?

You start off with an idea that seems good and then you take a break for a few minutes to have a shit and when you come back you forget where the story was headed. And then you have to deal with the worry that the editor will move your story into the dreaded Magazine Section where it will rot unseen, unloved.

I'm fucked if I can think of how this story ends.

I hate a funny conclusion all worked out in my head. Blast that accursed toilet break. I literally shit away my idea.

Fuck you, toilet seat!

Am I talking too much?

I'm sorry. I talk when I get nervous or scared. It's a habit. Like heroin, except less expensive. Shit! I could have linked to Kate Moss there! But then I'd still have to link it back to the fucking caterpillars.

Oh, shit, I've condemned this story to the Magazine section now for sure.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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