Written by Bureau

Monday, 22 June 2009

image for Top Fifteen Signs That You'll Know Fall Has Arrived In New York City

15. Plumbers, sewer workers and garbage men begin wearing shirts again.

14. Lots of snoring noises coming from the dumpsters.

13. Ed Asner gets ready to hibernate after filling up on fat.

12. Pretty brown and gold chalk used for chalk outlines of bodies on the sidewalks.

11. Wino herds headed south.

10. Squirrels, police make sure their nuts are all stored away.

9. Hookers dress up like sexy witches.

8. Met players all packed up and ready to go home during playoffs.

7. Big increase in bodies left in leaf bags for guys to pick up.

6. Guys who usually talk to dogs, cats begin to talk to scarecrows in window displays.

5. Fig Leaf falls off Socrates statue beside library showing he had a childlike penis.

4. Rake handle homicides increase over 100%.

3. Street ladies put on three more outfits.

2. Crack houses begin taking air conditioners, begin caulking all the windows.

1. N.Y.U. chooses the student that will perform as Mascot, Wally The Wharf Rat this football season!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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