"I hope I can get a-hold of that old fart's nuggets sometimes, I'd make his eyeballs pop out of his head a lot more than they did when he took all those films of us."
This was stated by a Mrs. X, a 63-year old Granny who does not want to be identified after two 50-Plus year old men claimed they were doing a movie called "Granny's Gone Wild!"
"Elinor...uh, Ms. XX first told me about it and she said they had promised to distort our faces so no one would know and that a movie would be made and we would get $20,000 apiece for being in the movie. They would call it "Granny's Gone Wild!" and they had us rasslin' in jello and all kinds of stunts but they was a fake according to the police officer who come by here earlier."
After our reporter asked what else the police officer said, Ms X replied, "Well, he said these two birds were up to this before and he asked if we were told that they needed some money up front."
"We paid $1,000 each, me and Ms. XX along with Ruby.....Ms XXX and Ms. XXXX. Then it turns out that they were just gypping us of our money and putting thoughts of stardom in our heads."
"Well, they were making copies of our movie and selling them to any old fart they could find, or some young preevert. So they cleaned up all around.
"I hope the policemen get them. I'd like to backhand one of those rascals, especially that one that kept wanting the close-ups.
"They'll also be confronted with lawsuits but I bet they ain't got a penny of that money left. Bet they spent it all on liquor as they always smelled of it but we expected the Hollywood type to be alcoholics so that just fooled us even more."
"So what are you going to do once they get caught?"
"Why, we'll sell copies of that movie and get our money back, what else? You know, I may just send one to an old friend of mine for free."
"AND one to Wilfred Brimley, if he's still alive. He might just get our movie out!"