Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 16 May 2009

image for Ten Little Known Facts About Carrie Prejean, Miss California Part of the collection of 8,227 bras in Carrie Prejean's bra collection.

VISTA, California - Miss California, Carrie Prejean has really been put through the grilling mill, the grinding mill, and the mams mill.

The 22-year-old native of San Diego, California said that as long as the owner of the Miss USA Pageant, the pleasantly pompadour-haired Donald Trump believes in her and supports her that is all that matters.

Prejean said that she has no more tears left. To which one of the Miss USA Pageant judges Perez Hilton reportedly replied, "Trust me you Barbie doll wannabe, I can find you dozens more tears real fast, you size minus 1 spoiled crybaby beeatch."

TEN LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT CARRIE PREJEAN:

  1. Her real last name is Postpants. It was changed by her grandfather who migrated to the United States from Kenya during The Swinging Vine Epidemic of 1959.
  2. She is listed as being 5 foot 11 inches tall. She is actually 6 foot 2 inches tall.
  3. Carrie actually does believe in same-sex marriages. She said that she just simply misunderstood the judges question.
  4. She said that of the 793 revealing Internet photos of her showcasing her southern California pom poms, that 784 were actually photoshopped.
  5. Her sister Esmeralda Lantana Prejean is a rear admiral in the navy (U.S.).
  6. Carrie remarked that even if they had stripped her (no pun intended) of her Miss California crown, she has an extra crown put away in her bedroom closet.
  7. Rev. Skippy Chianti, the pastor of The Quackin' Rocks and Socks Megachurch, which Prejean attends, told USA Today that America had better leave Carrie Prejean alone real quick or else she may just pack up and move to Iceland.
  8. Prejean's breast implants were not really paid for by Donald Trump's Miss USA Pageant, but instead they were purchased for her by Dolly Parton, who managed to get a 50 percent discount from the Nashville store, 'Melons, Mams, & More.'
  9. Carrie was not named after her aunt Carrie, as most people believe, but after Carrie Nation, who was a defiant leader in the anti-alcohol movement between 1900 and 1910.
  10. Carrie is a compulsive braoholic. At last count her bra collection numbered 8,227 bras and they ranged in sizes from A (when she was two-years-old) to D (when she was 22-years-old).

(EDDITOR'S NOTE: Carrie Prejean is considering an offer to replace Carrie Ann Inaba, the female judge on "Dancing With The Stars.")

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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