Written by Adam Click

Thursday, 2 April 2009

image for Alternative Housing Choices Abound A large latrine can easily hold a family of six. Don't be afraid to remodel it to suit your needs.

Life on the street doesn't have to be so bad if you consider these housing choices which were unavailable to your hobo grandfather:

Kitchen cabinet: Nobody has enough closet space but chances are one of your neighbors has a spare kitchen cabinet or two. Even if that cabinet space is presently occupied by small appliances, ask him to move them to the countertop. They'll get more use if they're readily available and you get that extra elbow room you'll need to stretch out under the sink.

Garden shed: Your grandpa probably held out in a draft clapboard slap-dash shed, but you won't have to. today's garden sheds are professional affairs complete with skylights and window boxes. watch out for nasty chemicals and pesticides, though. Nothing ruins a good hobo stew more than the pungent aroma of naphtha.

Outhouse or latrine: Your ancestors may have had to seek shelter in a two setter filled with cobwebs and spiders, not you! Today's outhouses have plenty of insulation thanks to their blow-molded construction and tight fitting doors. The larger ones can easily accommodate a family of six.

Recreational RV's: Almost every neighborhood has one or two of these mobile monster homes permanently parked in the driveway due to high gas prices. You'll enjoy all the luxuries of home without the worries. just be sure to follow the "in by eleven, out by seven" rule to avoid being caught. You can usually return after everyone else has left for work.

In short, just a little imagination can yield some comfortable digs. So where shouldn't you hole-up until the economy improves? Experts agree: avoid foreclosed homes at all costs! there's probably already a family squatting there, and the last thing you want to do is call attention to yourself with a nasty turf war.

Adam Click writes about life on the street whenever he has access to a computer at the New York Public Library.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Housing
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