Written by IN SEINE

Monday, 30 March 2009

image for What it is to be Irish

You may not believe there is a God, but is darn sure of the infallibility of the Pope.

You won't eat meat on Friday, but will drink Jameson for breakfast.

You have great respect for the truth, and use it in emergencies.

You see things not as they are but the way they never will be.

You get more Irish the further you get from Ireland.

You will never play professional basketball

You swear very well

At least one of your cousins holds political office

You think you sing very well

You have no idea how to make a long story short

You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf

You have never hit your head on the ceiling

You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling

You're strangely poetic after a few beers

Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary...and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth

You don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing

"Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge"

You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency

There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last kegger party

You are, or know someone, named "Murph"

If you don't know Murph, then you know "Mac"

If you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know "Sully"

You'll probably also know Sully McMurphy

You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret

Your attention span is so short that---oh, forget it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Topics: Irish
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story



Go to top
47 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more